I dropped my son off at preschool last week, and his teacher asked me if he could have some cupcakes and cookies that another parent dropped off earlier that morning to celebrate their son’s birthday. I looked at the list of ingredients and, of course, my son was not going to be able to participate. His teacher apologized and said that she didn’t know the treats were even being brought in that morning. I told her I understood (and I did, because it wasn’t her fault), but I walked out of that school feeling pretty annoyed (okay, fine — I was kind of pissed).
My son is 3, and since he was a tiny little guy we have been managing five different food allergies. At the age of one, we discovered that my son was allergic to milk protein, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, and eggs. Now, at age 3, he has completely outgrown his tree nut allergy, and is beginning to outgrow the milk protein allergy. We are thrilled about his progress, but still, an EpiPen Jr. is always within our reach, and he visits his allergist several times a year.
I sleep well at night knowing that we are blessed. He is a healthy weight for his age, he loves fruits and vegetables, and he seems to understand his food restrictions pretty well for a kid his age. My husband and I don’t have any allergies, so we will always wonder how this happened, but we may never get any real answers. I am sure parents everywhere might be wondering the same thing about their child’s allergies.
But, here is my issue. I understand that managing a kid’s food allergies is not part of every parent’s reality. I get that. However, I also know that there is a big sign in my son’s classroom with his picture and a list of his allergies. That said, it would be nice if parents could be a little bit more sensitive about the issue. I am honestly not asking people to go out of their way to accommodate his allergies (although I am so grateful when people do – and some parents have). All I am asking is that parents are considerate enough to give the teacher notice, a few days before bringing the treats in, so she can talk to me about it. That way, if a kid in my son’s class is having cupcakes for his birthday, I can bring him an eggless cupcake so he won’t feel left out.
As parents, I really do think we have a responsibility to not just be sensitive to the needs of our own children, but to be sensitive to needs of other children. So many kids have food allergies these days. Although we may not understand why, it is just a part of our reality. And, food allergies can be deadly. This is why I urge all parents out there to just learn a little bit more about allergies. Be cautious when offering food to small children, and always check with their parents first. Think about your kid’s classmates when it’s time to celebrate a birthday. Watch a video about how to use an EpiPen if your child is close friends with someone who has food allergies.
I think some people are more than willing to do these things, but it just never occurred to them. I completely respect that, and I hope that reading this provides some insight. But, sadly, I also know that some parents are well aware of “the kid with allergies” and they just don’t care because it’s not their kid. It really should not be that way.
Having food allergies is challenging for the parents who are helping their kid manage it, and it is especially challenging for a young child who just wants to do everything with his peers, without ever feeling left out. For the sake of kids everywhere who have food allergies and just want to have fun and enjoy time with their friends, take a moment to consider their needs. You don’t have to break your back to meet their needs but, at the very least, you should care enough to make sure they don’t feel left out. In my opinion, anything less is pretty insensitive.
BMWK Family — What are your thoughts on parenting a child with food allergies?
I actually have a song who has a peanut allergy. So when he starts school, I know this something that I will have to deal with on a regular bases, but I don’t want everyone to change there way of life BUT it would be helpful and wonderful to know that people are aware that this is something serious that is going on with a child and that being sensitive to that will help all others out as well.
I meant to say son…Auto Corrector on my phone 🙂
I have a 7 year old son that has allergies to cow’s milk, eggs, dairy, tree nuts and peanuts. He was diagnosed with several of his allergies at just five months old. Although it has been quite challenging to manage his food allergies, for the most part, I have been blessed with schools and teachers who have honored the management I have set up for his allergies. It is difficult for me to always know when someone at school will be having a celebration, so I always make sure the classroom teacher has something on hand for him that I have purchased. It makes my life a little easier and it provides my son with as much normalcy as I can provide for him. Although it is a struggle, I feel fortunate that he is not allergic to my items.
Had similar situation. Son is contact reactive to pn and tn. He has other allergies too. We have 504. I told her no. Sorry you should have followed the parent communication. Public preschool must accommodate!
I totally relate to what you are saying. My daughters school has/had a real issue with giving food as rewards(candy). I have a hard time with getting people (teachers, school staff, friends and family) to understand that I can not tell them exactly what to buy that she can have because ingredients change all the time. I have to read labels every time I buy food that she will eat. I finally came up with a box just for her. I stock it up at the beginning of the year and put all kinds of things that she likes in it (cheap little toys, notebooks, etc.) As well as a snack that she can have (rice krispy treats, graham crackers, etc.) for those days when other kids have snack. Her teachers so far have been very receptive of the box. I feel the same way you do about other parents. But I also think if I check the labels of things she eats I feel better. I just make sure I send in healthy snacks that are safe for everyone when it’s her turn to bring a treat. If the other kids parents are being told of the food allergies you are a step ahead of my daughters school. I hope things get easier for you going forward.