I know I told her 1,001 times to stop just sitting THAT ring down nonchalantly! She must not know the mental struggle I went through in the jewelry store, trying to decide what cut, clarity and all them other C’s they talk about when choosing rings. All I can think about are the negotiating skills I had to bring out, the financial investment and the emotional roller coaster I went on making that decision to buy THAT ring so that I could ask her to marry me.
Well, if she didn’t know then, now she finally understands why I was fussing about not just putting THAT ring down anywhere because now it’s been missing for about two months and we have no idea where it is!!
To not totally vilify my wife, I have to be honest and say that there is a possibility that her ring was stolen. We had some service work done in our house the same day the ring went missing, but you can’t accuse someone of theft when the item in question might really just be lost.
When the ring was only missing for a few days, I was okay but now it seems to be forever gone. And I’m mad, sad and everything else, including being unsure of what to do next. If you’re reading this right now I need your help! What would you do in a situation where you or your spouse lost a wedding ring?
Here are a couple of options I’ve considered:
1) Fuss About it!
Yeah I know it’s probably counterproductive, but it would make me feel better. I know I told her a bunch of times to be more mindful of where she kept her ring, and now that she’s not certain of the last place she left it, it has come back to bite her in the butt. I want to say “I told you so” sooo bad, but I’m trying to be mature about the situation.
2) Replace it!
I’ve thought about replacing the ring and buying another one, but why should I do that if she didn’t take care of the first one? Hmmmmm… decisions, decisions!
3) Upgrade it!
Our five year anniversary is coming up. If she put up with me for five whole years, maybe she deserves an upgrade. I’m in a better financial situation now than when we first met, so maybe it would be a nice gesture to do what Beyoncé said and “Upgrade her!”
4) Do nothing!
After all, she lost the ring, not me. Perhaps I should just sit back and watch her squirm about it, and if she wants another one, maybe it should be on her to make that happen.
Well, as you can see I’ve had a few scenarios go through my mind about this situation and truly the “expert” is stuck on this one. So this is why I need your opinions. Let me know what you would do and share the blog and ask your followers what they would do. I’m all ears and I want to hear from you. Comment and share your thoughts…and also HOPE that the ring might just turn back up!
BMWK, what do you think I should do? Has this happened to you before, how did you handle it?
This is an easy one. No amount of fussing, cussing, or other emotional responses will change the fact that the ring is missing. The ring is a symbol of something. I say something because it symbolizes different things to different people. But in my mind it symbolizes my unchangeable fidelity to our union together. That no matter what, as long as I have her safe, protected, and happy no 1” cylinder of metal and rocks can change that. Your wife feels bad about misplacing her ring. I don’t want to contribute to her disappointment in herself. Our job to each other is to edify, build each other up in time of testing and trials. Her body is my body and I must care for her body as I would my own. I could say so much more but I think you can see my heart.
I’m your like your wife and you sound just like my husband. Frankly I wish I could die but I want to live and get past this. I lost my ring and it feels like it’s gone forever. This is HELL! We have searched everywhere. I fear it’s in the landfill buried under rubble and dirt. If he were a wife beater, I wouldn’t feel any better after a beat down. If he were rich, I wouldn’t feel any better with the thought he could buy me a new one. It hurts that I lost the rings. It hurts that I’ve hurt him by losing them. I’d always clean them to keep them shiny but this time I decided to air dry them instead of putting them right on. He may have inadvertently toss them in the trash along with the paper it sat upon. My knees and legs are weak with worry and regret. It’s hard to function at work. I’m now trying to be better than the woman he married by serving him anyway I can. The thoughts to allow him to cheat, to satisfy his every need and to ease the loss cross my mind. I’m in hell. I can’t tell you what to do. I’m praying for a break through.
My wife lost her engagement ring and wedding ring – some of the above complaints apply to our situation. She was devastated – I had many of the feelings you all did. My solution, because I could not fix it then? My wedding band got “lost” as well. I told her, honey, it could happen to anybody, I love you. Then, I saved up enough to buy her a better set of rings, and mine as well, and will propose to her again this Valentines day. After that, I will call the insurance company about her lost ring. I waited because the insurance company can replace the money, but I can not allow them to be her suitor, lover and husband.
Good I aslo lost my weeding ring couple of days ago and my husband is like I lost his love for me I love the above comment it motivated me a lot but I don’t really know what to do because he is just to mad at me right now
I’m so glad I’m not the only Afro-American women in the world to lose her wedding ring. I never had a band, just a ring with no insurance. The exact same ring was available at the jeweler only in white gold, so I intended to buy my exact ring in white gold, but it was used. To me it was someone another women’s ring. After 14 years if marriage , I felt I deserved a new ring, only problem is that we are buying new furniture. So have furniture to pay off and a new ring in lay-a-way. I’m happy with my new upgrade, hubby not so much, but I felt like if not know then when? I’m certainly not the same 33 year old I was when I got married, I’m 46 and wanted something with more bling. So, I picked out what I wanted and my husband had a fit, because we’re trying to buy furniture, but hey I have no kids, he has 2 grown kids, and I’ll be 50 before you know it. So, I might as well get what I want with what time I have left.
I believe lost all my jewlery on holiday. It was not an engagement ring but it was a friendship ring that was important and precious to me. It is 2 years since this happened and I hoped he would replace it for me as a loving guesture.! No such thoughts! I’m sad as I hoped he’d realise it was important to me.
I never said or hinted at anything but I’m afraid I blurted my feelings out in front of him to other people tonight saying if he was half a man he would have bought me a replacement. Now I feel shallow as I should have mentioned this in another way. It happened 2 years ago Ive had time but dont realy feel I should have had to point this out. He just thinks I’m stupid for losing it . I could agree with that but we all make mistakes and some point.