by Harriet Hairston

If you have taken the time out to look at the video associated with this imperative campaign, you will see the heart of the black community, ladies both young and maturing stating their worth and giving descriptions of their value.

I commend Christelyn Karazin for making this the crux of   the No Wedding, No Womb campaign designed to address the problems of–and provide solutions to–the unplanned pregnancies among single African-American women.   A woman’s sense of self-worth is where the rubber meets the road, and whatever decisions she makes flows from her own identity.

Out of all the words used in the video, one phrase kept ringing through my mind as I watched:

I AM BETTER THAN THIS!

Black women, according to Maya Angelou, are PHENOMENAL.

Black women, according to our Commander in Chief, are worthy of being the First Ladies of the Nation.

Black Star, a compilation of hip hop artists Mos Def and Talib Kweli, stated, “My brown lady creates environments for happy brown babies.”

Goodie MoB gave a poignant description of Black women in their song, “Beautiful Skin:”

You’re my beginning, my end. . .You’re my sister, lover and friend.

God is your light from within. . .It shines through your beautiful skin.

What they say about you ain’t true. . .there’s no me if there is no you.

I hope that you understand.  . .you’ve got to respect yourself before I can.

And therein lies the challenge on two different fronts:   black women respecting themselves, and black men loving themselves enough to respect black women, whether they respect themselves or not!

Black women,  WE ARE  BETTER THAN. . .

• What they say about us in music these days.   The songs I outlined were from 1998, but we still shine forth timeless inner beauty.   When we relinquish it to adopt the vulgarity of what a small majority of men have said about us over the megaphone of music sales, we diminish who we are.
• Mere sexuality.   Understanding the worth of what lies between our thighs would definitely not have us opening them to any Tom, Dick (no pun intended) or Harry that would seek to use us then discard us like yesterday’s trash.
• The silent partners in church.   One lady in the video said she was the “Most High’s Creation.”   Man was taken from the dirt, and God did beautiful things with him.   But we were fashioned and sculpted from the bone designed to protect the heart of mankind as mothers, friends, confidantes, sisters and lovers.

No Wedding, No Womb speaks of empowerment and creating solutions.   Men and women both within and outside the black community should be able to hear the cacophony of the alarm when 72% of black children are born to single parent households.   Lamar talked about not making that rate a “Perfect 10.”

How do we prevent that from happening?

• Build up little black girl’s self worth through educational initiatives and–even more importantly–home training.
• Surround the children with strong father figures who will teach boys how to respect women and girls how to respect themselves.
• Married couples should make  marriage an attractive institute more so than a burdensome option.
• And, as many have stated in the past, BE THE CHANGE WE WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

We overcame in the past, not for our family units to suffer, but for our rights to be solidified.   If we can overcome racism, we SHALL overcome the breakdown of the African-American family.   If we don’t, a new form of slavery–leaving our  children to create further generations of the spiritually,  mentally, socially and emotionally enslaved–will present itself, and we will have sold ourselves into its grips by ignoring such a pervasive problem.

WE are better than this!   Let’s walk it out!

BMWK, how do YOU plan on becoming the change you want to see in the black community?

God bless!

~ Harriet