Last night, I attended the very first meeting for my two youngest daughters’ troop. Most of the girls in the troop are in Kindergarten. This first meeting was more of a parents meeting (and the girls just played.)
The other moms and I began to share our daughters’ experiences with Kindergarten so far. For the most part, all of the girls are getting along fine in school. But, there were also stores of:
- boys and girls kissing on the playground (that’s one that my own daughter told me),
- clicks on the playground and mean girls
- kids not playing with each other because they are different and because they are not dressed “right”
This is nothing new…playground drama is as old as the playground itself. And it’s up to us, the parents, to ensure that our kids: 1. are confident with themselves and know that they are special, 2. appreciate differences in other people, and 3. know how to treat other people.
Here are 5 ways that I teach my kids to love themselves as well as others:
- Celebrate what makes them unique. All of my kids are special in their own ways. I try to remind them daily about what makes them so special. I want them to have a healthy dose of self-confidence, so that when someone says something “out of pocket” to them…it will just roll off of their shoulders.
- Teach them how to treat others.You have to be intentional about teaching your kids manners and how to respect other kids.
- Tell them that being mean will not be tolerated. Don’t get fooled into thinking that your little angel could not possibly be one of the mean kids on the playground. Let your kids know that there will be serious consequences if they are caught being mean.
- Keep the lines of communication open. I am all up in the playground drama. I ask my kids daily what’s going on at school and on the playground. Of course I get the universal answer at first: “Good.” But then I dig deeper until I get the details.
- Involve them in activities that reinforce these principles. Which is why they are a part of the troop.
The troop leader asked each parent what we hoped our girls would get out of participating. And it seems that all of the mothers had similar answers. We wanted our girls to:
- celebrate diversity and to know that it is okay to be different
- to form a sisterhood with the other girls in the troop
- to be of service to their community.
- to have a safe place to be themselves.
- to have fun, and
- to have a camping experience (minus actually sleeping outdoors….none of us wanted to do that….lol)
My oldest daughter was a member of a troop for 3 years, and I can attest to the fact that she had a true sisterhood with other girls in her troop. And, I really loved that fact that they were taught to love themselves, and others, and their community.
I am also loving Hallmark’s new line of products, SO SO Happy™. This is a line of cards, party supplies and gifts aimed at encouraging love, acceptance and positivity among kids. “Hallmark’s mission – to make the world a more caring place by helping people make meaningful connections with each other – aligns perfectly with SO SO Happy’s mission to promote positivity, build self-confidence and inspire acceptance,” said Claire January, senior licensing account executive at Hallmark. “We are excited to partner with SO SO Happy and offer products that will boost kids’ confidence when they head back to school, as well as on birthdays and any day of the year.”
BMWK – Please share with us how you “nip it in the bud” with your own kids. How do you teach your kids to embrace their individuality while respecting the individuality of others? How do you inspire self confidence in your kids?
Each new day provides you with an opportunity to have special moments with your family.
Disclosure: This post is part of a series about Back to School encouragement that is sponsored by Hallmark. All opinions and editorial content expressed are my own.
Ronnie, I remember when our daughter was in pre-k (she is now 13), and the teacher told us how this boy used to act toward her and would get upset with other kids/boys who tried to be friends. I was a little, no, a lot disturbed by this little dude. I think I finally had to talk to him. It is crazy how this stuff starts so young. Great pointers you have listed, thanks for sharing!
Great article! As someone who is now considering becoming a parent articles like this will help me be ahead of the game!
Awesome post. I try to inspire self confidence in not only my own daughter but for daughters across the country through my network Our Natural Kids. First we teach the parents to embrace and maintain what is natural about their children, and this teaches the kids to embrace their own beauty and thereby promotes the first part of the word “self esteem”, which is “self”. I also keep my daughter active in her community and in activities that promote diversity. This teaches her to appreciate other people and cultures. Having children ranging in ages from 11 to 23 we’ve done the kindergarten thing quite a few times. Things always worked out for the good. They say that everything that you need to know about life, you learn in Kindergarten. lol and it sounds a lot like life what you described in the beginning! boys & girls kissing on the playground (office affairs) Clicks on the playground (Favoritism, Nepotism) People not hanging around others because of they are different (racism prejudice.) Very thought provoking!
This is great Ronnie and something that is so needed. We really do have to be proactive in all that our kids do and are involved in. We inspire confidence in our kids by doing a lot of what you mentioned in this article. We instill confidence in them by allowing them and showing them they can do things on their own (they are 2,3 & 5). We give them positive affirmations daily and allow them to express their thoughts when they’re unhappy (something I wasn’t allowed to do growing up). We teach them that they are a unit and must always stick together, look out for each other and be kind to each other.
Ronnie, our kids schools were first schools that were mostly people of color, then schools where people of color didn’t really exist. We taught our kids to treat others what the same respect they want to be treated. In little people terms “how would that make you feel.” Great article, boy would the world be different if all parents read your article.
My daughter is about to start preschool soon, so I’m thankful for this kind of insight! It’s ever to early to start teaching our children about how to love and respect others!
Fab tips…especially number 3. Kids will think twice if its embedded in their minds that ‘my moment of running with the crowd’ will cost me my games & iPad mini.
I get so sad when I hear that kids are being mean to other kids. And I never thought it would happen so young. I don’t remember even knowing about cliques in kindergarten. But I would definitely do all the things you said, stay up to date on what’s going on and make sure my children know that being mean/a bully will NOT be tolerated.
You are doing the world so much justice with this post!! Great piece. Your little ones are adorable!
I love what you are instilling in your daughters. One of the things that is important to me is teaching my children the importance of kindness and compassion. Being kind no longer seems the norm in today’s society. I also want my children to always see the value in every life including theirs. If they love and value themselves they will make better choices as they grow. Thank you for sharing this! You made some great points and helped identify some things that I want to be even more mindful of going forward.
Teaching our children how to be kind is so important. I talk to my son about being kind to others and that if someone is mean to him or his friend he needs to say something. He’s only 3 but I hope that having these conversations now will make a huge difference as he gets older. By the way, I LOVE Hallmark. Their cards really do invoke positive feelings. I’m so excited that it’s almost time for my kids to get their new holiday ornaments from Hallmark (they get a new one every year). Again, great post!
Really great post Ronnie. As a former kindergarten classroom teacher, teaching civics, tolerance, and community was a big thing for me even though it was not in the curriculum. We need more parents that are explicitly teaching tolerance, sisterhood, and self-confidence. If we had more kids with these types of skills, we wouldn’t have to deal with some of the foolishness that we see at the workplace, community organizations, and all other places that are supposed to bring out the best in us.