by Harriet Hairston
Do you have a characteristic that acts as both a blessing AND a curse? I do. I always want to see the best in other people, sometimes to the point where I blind myself to the red flags before my eyes. It’s one thing to be compassionate, and yet another to excuse ridiculous behavior. This could apply to a relationship, a work situation or even a family member. If red flags arise, it’s best to deal with them then and there, no matter how subtle it seems. I’ve learned that if you blind yourself once, you will continue to blind yourself until the negativity snowballs out of control.
I could end this article right there. Not too much more for me to add. It’s necessary at home, in church, in the workplace, and even among family members. Tara talked about a huge red flag Jennifer Sanford noticed on the day she married her now-estranged husband (the governor of South Carolina). What is it about love and loyalty that causes people to throw common sense out of the window? What is it about enmeshed relationships that cause people to go beyond being unselfish to loving another person or group of people to their own detriment?
I have determined that I will not allow anything beyond the mandate of the Lord to make me a martyr. I have to live to raise my children, love my husband, create wealth for myself and others, and a myriad of other missions that are assigned to me. I am determined to nip every red flag I see in the bud to prevent unnecessary drama to ensue in my life.
What kinds of red flags have you swept under the carpet in your life, BMWK? What do you think you can do to prevent blinding yourself to red flags that may be a detriment to you, your family, and your marriage?
Harriet Hairston is a woman who slips and slides in and out of labels (military officer, human resource manager, minister, mentor, spoken word artist and teacher). The only ones that have stuck so far are “wife” and “mother” (the most important in her estimation). The rest have taught her well that only what she does for Christ will last. She joyously writes for the site Black and Married with Kids and her own blog entitled “Can She SAY That?!?“ There is one more permanent label she holds: “author.” You can purchase her first book, “Who Are You?“ simply by clicking on the link or going to https://www.createspace.com/3430012. You can also contact her at [email protected].
I’m beginning to think that red flags are waved TO be ignored :-\
.-= {Ms. P}´s last blog ..Morton’s: Lunch with a Legend-Ted Leonsis =-.
My former Pastor used to tell us that we need to recognize those red flags so I am keen on picking them out. I had to learn however that, while I am happy when I recognize a danger sign in my life, others often do not want to hear about the red flags that are being waived in theirs.
This became apparent in my marriage when I would make comments to my wife about her relationships. She would be bothered by what I said. However as situations stopped being warnings and became serious problems she would remember what I said. Now we have both begun to embrace these promptings of the Spirit.
.-= Carlton´s last blog ..God’s Man | Sermon Collection =-.
I think I agree with Carlton’s comment…
They’re called Red Flags for a reason… We all have to evaluate the them about others and be self-reflective about our own issues that may cause Red Flags to raise in others…
.-= Ed´s last blog ..Yung Berg Talks About "Pistol Whipping" =-.
I think for some people (myself included) the problem is that the weight of pride sometimes outweighs the weight of the flag. Some folks don’t notice them until they become those big ,glowing, highway signs that warn you when there’s traffic ahead.
.-= Candi´s last blog ..Product Review: Hydratherma Naturals =-.
I always wanted to know how to discern the Red Flags. How can you tell if they are dangerous or it’s your misconception?
My Red Flag, was the relationship with my family,i’m the baby out of thirteen children’s.My sibling alway made me feel that i was alway fighting to get in ,where i don’t fix in at..to the point of question my own indefinite…Is i’m the daughter of my parents?but,where do i belong,i got to the point,that i went so far back into the insanity of my mind,that i fear the disappointment of love… that i destroy,everything i though loved me. by going thru life thinking of who said what,or who did this?