There was a time when my husband and I ate off of the dollar menu at McDonald’s. And when we slept on a mattress on the floor. When we opted for rabbit ears instead of cable to save money for gas. When we used popsicles to cool off in the summer heat because we couldn’t afford an air conditioner. We worked jobs we were over qualified for and drove cars that required too much maintenance. When we were finally able to buy a home, we spent years with empty rooms because furniture was just too expensive. Yet, we found joy in rolling around on the floor together and marveling at our new space. Although we were broke, we were still blessed.
Blessed to have each other.
Blessed to be healthy.
Blessed to have jobs.
Blessed to be in love.
Even though we no longer struggle to put food on the table or to pay our bills, we appreciate every cent that comes into the house. Every cent. We don’t take anything for granted, and we know that it is by hard work, faith in God, and love and support from each other and from family that we will continue to prosper.
Sometimes when couples make it through rough years””be they financial, emotional, or otherwise””there is a tendency to forget the past. Certainly we shouldn’t dwell in our history, but it’s important to remember where we came from. And it’s even more important to remember who was with us during the hard times.
Consider this:
When you are tempted to engage in an extramarital affair, remember the person who still loved you when your credit was bad, your car was busted, and your job prospects where slim.
When you are tempted to neglect your children, remember they still ran to meet you at the door even when you couldn’t buy the latest video games or sneakers for them.
When you are tempted to harbor unforgiveness and bitterness, remember the times you were forgiven, and more importantly, remember that God has forgiven you.
When you are tempted to place the opinions and feelings of friends and co-workers above your spouse, remember that those people didn’t vow to love you in good times and bad times. Their love is conditional.
When you are tempted to be self-centered and prideful, remember it took the two of you working as a team to get where you are now.
One of the blessings of being in a committed marriage is that you and your spouse can go through life together. Your experiences bind you to each other and bind you to God, which is part of what it means to be ONE. No one outside of your marriage will ever understand what you have been through together. You have a special bond like no other. So, every now and then, remember where you came from and remember who was with you through it all.
BMWK family, when you remember where you came from with your spouse, what are you grateful for?
Thank you this is beautiful!
You are welcome Lawanda. Glad you enjoyed it.
This was great Dr. Michelle. Hubby & I are still going through a rough time, even this early in our marriage. I can’t wait to get to the point where it’s just a memory.
Thanks Briana. Ours was an early struggle too. It was like beginning an exercise program and the roughest part was getting started. Soon after the body adjusts things get easier and you get more energy. Same with marriage. Not only will it be a memory but a testimony. Hubby and I look back and LOL now. “Wasn’t no way” we were going out that easily. Ha!!
Can’t wait to hear your other-side story.
Yesterday, was one of my low moments because it had been 2 years since I was laid off from my last full-time employment. Although I lamented the sadness of my struggle to get full-time employment, I did rejoice in the fact that my wife has been there to support me through this dry season and encourage me in every endeavor. This article actually works wonders and gives me even more strength to endure because she is right there – by my side!!
Great post. Very relatable. We all have a remember when and a But God…
Thank you Mr. Lee.
Beautiful and a reminder to remember because we’re so fast to forget.
Thanks for reading.
TThis article is a fresh wind in the sails of those who need to know that it is a blessing to be reminded of the journey thus far. I am blessed with my wife, children, opportunities, grace, faith, friends and abilities that God has endowed me with. Thank you for the reminder, ma’am.
You are welcome. Thanks for reading.
This was an awesome post. Bonding through those rough patches is part of the glue that will hold you together. When we look back and say “remember when…” it is something that is so special to us.
Thank you. We love saying “remember when” too. Thanks for reading.
I believe this is partly why my marriage ended. When we started out – we had nothing. Applied for food stamps and was denied! But we had eachother and our children, and that was enough. Years went on and paychecks got bigger and suddendly he “needed” more. That need turned into uneccesary debt that put stress on the marriage. We actually had a convo where I tried to remind him of how we started out with nothing and were happy. He lost sight of what we had accomplished together.
Sorry to hear that. Hopefully other couples will read your comment and learn from it. Thanks for sharing.
I Love this article!!! It reminds me of what a true blessing being married is. I have been with my husband for 6 years now and we still kiss about 10 x’s a day and cuddle on the couch and play footsie in the bed. He’s my best friend and you so right when you said no one will ever understand your bond. I think I just fell in love with my hubby all over again!!!
That’s wonderful!
I completely agree with this. My fiancee and I struggglednin the beginning and now that we are in a better place we try to remember to stay grounded and humble. I hope we neckerchief forget how far we have come and that we continue to move in the right direction. I love this article!!!