I believe that love does not conquer all. And not only do I not believe it, but as a happily married woman, I have no problem sharing that belief with others.

It’s not that I don’t believe in the importance or power of love, because I do. I’m actually a romantic at heart (no really, I am). The thing is, I am also a realist. And as a realist, I really can’t sit here and tell you that love matters more than everything else in a relationship.

It doesn’t.

You can love someone who abuses you. You can love someone who doesn’t carry his weight. You can love someone who offers minimal support. You can love someone who really doesn’t deserve your love.

But despite my strong feelings about how love isn’t enough, I firmly believe that love is some powerful stuff. I also believe that love is a verb.

You have to show people how much you love them through your actions; you can’t just claim to feel the love. You need more than just feeling.

You need loving actions. You need to do something.

Although love doesn’t conquer all, it sure gives you something to fight for when your relationship is in trouble. When you know you are truly loved, you don’t take it for granted—not for one second.

Because love is amazing.

And no one wants to run the risk of losing something amazing, right? You know what else? No one should be willing to settle for less than amazing either. You should be with a man who knows your worth and shows you that he knows it every single day. You should share your life with some who knows that love is a verb.

So how do you know if your guy is the real deal? How do you know if he really loves you?

If he does these five things, I think he’s a keeper.

1. He offers you consistent support
It’s easy to offer someone support sometimes or only when it’s convenient for you. It’s a completely different thing to offer support consistently—even when it’s not convenient at all.

When a man does that, he is there for you emotionally and physically to offer support in a number of ways. Consistent support is not easy to give, so people typically reserve that level of support for the people they love most. If you feel consistently supported, you’ve got a good guy.

2. He shows appreciation
I think the biggest complaint most women have is that they don’t feel appreciated. I know I’ve felt that way before. But when a man’s words and actions show you he appreciates the role you play in his life and in your home, it’s a beautiful thing. I believe that in order to truly show love for someone, you have to be capable of showing that person appreciation.

3. He shows concern for your needs
When you love someone, you have to able to step outside of yourself to look at things from that person’s perspective. By doing so, you are able to understand what someone else needs to be happy—without simply basing it on what you need to be happy. We are all different, and we each have unique needs. Taking the time to understand and appreciate someone else’s needs is a sure way to express true love.

4. He’s always there for you
And I mean always. It doesn’t matter if he’s mad, if you’re mad or if anything else is going on—he is still there for you. He has shown you time and time again that his ability to be a strong force in your life is not conditional. Nothing beats the feeling that comes with knowing someone will always stand by your side.

5. He listens to you
Listening is one of the toughest communication skills to master. We often hear what someone is saying, but that doesn’t mean we are truly listening. But we’re truly in love when we take the time to hold back our personal thoughts and our need to form what we plan to say next, so we can listen to the one we love. Although you can’t become an excellent listener overnight, making an effort to truly listen to someone is truly a sign of compassion and love.

BMWK family, what does your man do to show you he really loves you?