Should Love Trump Career?

The answer to this question is yes.

And no. Let me explain.

You might be looking for me to give you a warm and fuzzy response like “follow your heart” or “love will make a way!” But I’m not going to give you that.

You might be looking for me to give you an answer like “girl, get yo money! You don’t need a man.” I’m not going to give you that either.

Related: Can being too independent leave a woman looking for love?

This isn’t one of those easy questions in life. It doesn’t have a cut or dry answer like the questions, “Should I watch yet another episode of this Law and Order marathon?” (yes) or “Should I wear this satin bonnet out of the house?” (no). It has to take a lot more into account than that.

As a married woman, I believe family, and that family includes my husband, comes first. This means that career decisions should enhance and support my family’s life instead of taking away from them.

If you are married, or plan to be, chasing career goals in a way that is damaging to your family means that you need to take some time to evaluate your career plans.

But, that is just an evaluation of the plans. You can be flexible in the method in which you plan to reach those goals instead of the decision to pursue them period. What it does mean is that your partner needs to be on board with your career goals.

It also means that your career plan may not look like what you envisioned. But, if you completely sacrifice your career for your relationship, or if you ignore and neglect your personal gifts for your man, it may become a decision you live to regret and your man will bear the brunt of your resentment. Compromise is absolutely key if you plan to live the kind of life that you both deserve.

My feelings are a bit different for my single ladies. To you, I will say that if you’re not married yet, and your decision comes down to your career or your man, you need to walk away.

Why? Because if you view your man as an obstacle to your career goals instead of someone who can help you meet them, you already have a problem.

If you’re making a decision about one or the other, rather than coming together to think about how you can support each other in doing both, you’re already getting off on the wrong foot.

What do you think? Does love trump career? Or should you think about your career before you think about a relationship?