I strongly believe that people learn about love relationships from the environment they grew up in. As a child of once married and then divorced parents, my outlook on relationships became tainted. I questioned a lot of factors, including the longevity and stability of relationships. I grew up in an environment in which divorce was “normal” and love seemed conditional, but I’ve always wanted something different. Something stable, real, and based on what God’s intentions for marriage to be. If you’ve had a similar experience to mine, I encourage you to not give up on real love, even if you’ve never seen it. If you desire a successful marriage, you may have to seek out a love mentor.

Many of us singles have the wrong ideas about marriage because we grew up with fairy tale dreams or real world wounds.

Since January is National Mentoring Month, I thought it was timely to share with singles and coupled folks out here to have wise counsel, so that you may succeed (Proverbs 15:22). Love mentors are individuals or couples who are in a godly marriage that glorifies God. In essence, this couple or individual of the couple is a source of inspiration, gives first-hand accounts of the realities of married life, and is able to be trusted. I have a desire to be married and in order for me to learn about it in a real perspective, I have to make the necessary steps to learn from those who are truly living that experience.

How to Find a Love Mentor

You can identify a love mentor for your life in many ways. You may know someone in your work or academic space who you admire. There may be a couple at church, pastor and their spouse, or a godly marriage counselor to reach out to. You could also seek a mentor through faith-based groups, ministries, and organizations outside of your church environment to connect and share with. Some consider a host of online and media personalities to serve as their personal love mentors through the resources they provide; you will definitely find several love mentors here on BMWK! Wherever you identify your love mentor, be sure to take it to the Lord in prayer and seek His approval. You don’t want just anyone pouring into you about such an important life matter.

Ideally, a love mentor is someone you can receive advice and wisdom about love, marriage, and other areas in relationships. You also want to be able to share and discuss the real challenges of being in that kind of relationship. Many of us singles have the wrong ideas about marriage because we grew up with fairy tale dreams or real world wounds. Your love mentor cannot heal you, that’s God’s job. They can push and encourage you to change your mindset, give you the truth about love and what it will take to succeed. Love mentors are real and it’s a blessing to have one. You want to be prepared for the responsibilities that come with being someone’s spouse. You’ll need someone outside of the relationship to remind you to be selfless, love unconditionally, and to not give up.

The Mentee – Mentor Relationship

The enemy will want you to think that you are alone in your feelings in singleness or when you get married, your feelings and issues in that season. Love mentors serve as an extra help in your time of need to assist you when things get challenging. Marriages are constantly under attack including your mentors’, so we have to do our part in interceding in prayer for them and for God to get the glory out of their union. This mentee-mentor relationship is a beautiful thing in the world and in the Body of Christ. We all have a chance to look out for each other, which will build better families and communities.

Kudos to all of those in my life who have been imparting their wisdom into me and are helping me become a better wife and partner to my future spouse. If you have a love mentor, take the time to thank them! I also look forward to being a marriage or love mentor to those who God brings my way. Are you in need of a love mentor? God is a provider and will bring individuals into your life to help you succeed, just ask and trust Him to make your path clear. Here’s to a year full of growth, wisdom and contentment in all seasons.

BMWK, do you have a love mentor? What is the most memorable advice that you have learned from them?