We’ve heard it time and time again – communication is the key to a good marriage. And while communication may not be the only component to a long lasting holy matrimony, it’s definitely one of the main pillars.

I know as the husband, my opinion matters in our household. It matters mostly because my wife has an open ear for most of my issues. I also know my wife works very hard every single day as well. Early in our marriage, we subscribed to the ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life’ mantra as many couples do. And as with many husbands, I’ve attempted to make sure my wife doesn’t have a reason to be sad or hurt as long as I had any control over the situation.

Obviously, as most husbands also know, this method rarely goes as planned. Quite contrary, many times I’m the direct cause of her torment unbeknownst to myself. It comes with the territory. I can accept that.

I also constantly remind myself that no one person can make another happy. That pursuit is up to each and every one of us to find on our own, hopefully with the right people by our side.

What becomes hard for me to accept are the times when I see the weight of her responsibilities, roles, and titles weigh on her and no matter what I do, there are many burdens she has to carry on her own. No amount of communication, good will gestures, candies brought home, cooked dinners, or otherwise can adequately convey to her what I’m feeling.

It’s in these prolonged moments when I feel totally inadequate to relay my intentions clearly to my wife I feel utterly powerless. It’s both crushing and frustrating. There will always be a huge part of me which feels that if I should be able to communicate with anyone adequately, it should be my wife, and in those moments of disconnectedness it keeps me up at night trying to figure out a way to connect with her again.

I also constantly remind myself that no one person can make another happy. That pursuit is up to each and every one of us to find on our own, hopefully with the right people by our side. And in the absence of the right words, I lean on the hope that my wife knows I’m at least by her side when she’s able to share the load.

BMWK – can you relate? What do you do when you feel powerless to help your spouse?