Fatin and Aja Dantzler, from the popular neo-soul group, Kindred the Family Soul, have been married for 13 years now. We were so happy and honored that they gave us a sneak peek inside of their marriage for our film, Still Standing.
They shared with us that in the beginning, some people were not so supportive of their decision to get married, largely because of their ages; Aja was 19 and Fatin was 24. However, their decision was not just based purely on love. It was also based on a deeper connection that they had with each other. It was about who they were on the inside, about their common goals and what they wanted to accomplish with their lives, and how they saw each other in that.
Aja shared that because of the pressures that they felt in the beginning of their marriage they endured a lot of problems without asking for help. They wanted to prove everyone wrong and they didn’t want people to see them fail. She shares that it is not fair that people “scare the crap” out of couples that are planning to marry. They are very negative because they want to explain the gravity of marriage. She says people should: “Stop invoking a sense of negativity “.....Help people understand the responsibility without telling them that it will be the end of all things me.”
Aja and Fatin share that the key to keeping their marriage together is that they work hard at keeping each other happy. They say you have to want it and work towards making your situation better.
After 13 years of marriage, “Aja and Fatin can proudly say:
“In spite of naysayers and pressures from the industry that we are in, our marriage is still standing because of the mercy of God, and our will and desire to stay married, to preserve our marriage and preserve our relationship.”
BMWK Family – What discouraging remarks did people say when you announced you were getting married? How did this affect you? Do you find yourself being negative when people announce their engagement?
See Fatin and Aja’s story in our latest film Still Standing.
Teaser Featuring Kindred The Family Soul:
Wait until you see how the film opens with Kindred. You will love it!
I get that people try to “prepare us” for marriage with the warnings and such, but it does often come out overwhelmingly negative. Many times, people forget to share with engaged and newly married couples the joy of marriage. They don’t remember to describe the peace of having a partner you share with, have fun with, and fight next to. They omit the depth that your love for each other reaches when you make that lifetime committment. Even with the challenges that all marriages face, it is still one of the best decisions a person can make. After 5 years of marriage, I still firmly believe that.
When someone I know gets engaged or married, the first thing I do is wish & pray for them a lifetime of marital bliss and blessings. I think starting off positive makes all the difference.
I agree, when we 1st got engaged it was like it set off a 5 alarm fire on how other people felt about us and our relationship. After we got married I realized how many people actually doubted us, they didnt think it would happen. When it did, and we had a wonderful wedding day, we had several knives thrown in our backs and we had to take them out ourselves, we have been married for 3and a half years now and sometimes we still deal with negativity but, at this point, if anyone has anything to say negative about us, then they are no longer in our lives. I also took note as to how many single people had an opinion about us….NOPE! not listenening to them and they need to be out looking for they own husband or wife. As newly engaged couples you have to learn the hard way to keep people out of your business, even if they are family and friends cuz they are also the worst critiques at times. Marriage is a wonderful thing but, the 2 of you have to want it.