By Harriet Hairston
Sometimes life throws cliches at me that I never pay attention to until way down the line. Lately, the cliche that has been playing over and over again in my mind is this: “Whatever you dwell on will grow.”
There’s something about the power within the mind that will attract the very thoughts a person has to itself. In high school, my coach would always tell us that attitude is everything.
Well, recently my attitude towards my marriage and life in general was terrible, and like flies to funk, my life played out the very negativity my mind ruminated on.
Like I said last week, I’ve been really digging deep into the wisdom of others who have been down that road to not only understand it, but make a lasting change in my life and marriage. Norman Vincent Peale not only provided steps for keeping the marriage aflame, but also for changing mental attitudes from negative to positive. I tried them, and they really have been working for me! I hope they do the same for you:
1. For the next 24 hours, deliberately speak hopefully about everything, especially those things that are bothering you. Your jobs, health, family, future…talk optimistically.
2. After completing #1, continue the same practice for an entire week. Then you can allow yourself to be “realistic” about things. You will find that “realistic” a week ago was actually pessimistic. Now, it’s more of a positive outlook.
3. Feed your mind nourishing, wholesome thoughts. Scriptures, inspirational quotes, etc. Personally, I underlined in the Gospels all the scriptures about faith and thoughts.
4. Commit what you collect in #3 to memory, one a day until you can do the entire list. When you do this, you launch an attack against negativity by forcing it out and filling the empty space up with inspiration and encouragement.
5. Determine who is the most positive thinker among your friends and further cultivate the relationship. Ina nutshell, show me your friends, I’ll show you your future. Surround yourself with people who are positive and encouraged about their marriages, jobs, etc.
6. Avoid argument…but if a negative attitude is expressed, counter it with a positive, optimistic opinion. It’s not faking it until you make it, but faithing it until you make it. Make your faith a verb!
7. Pray with thanksgiving on the assumption that God has already provided you with great and wonderful things. There is always a spiritual aspect to these principles, and having an attitude of gratitude is highly imperative.
Norman Vincent Peale summed up these seven points with encouraging words:
To change your circumstances, first start thinking differently. Do not passively accept unsatisfactory circumstances, but form a picture in your mind of circumstances as they should be.
Life faces us with enough challenges. There is no need to build up more within our minds with negative thinking about things that should bring us joy (marriage, family, work, etc.).
God bless!
~ Harriet
Just reading this gave me peace…thank you so much!
YES indeed… loved it and very timely! Thanks
Thank you for expressing yourself to us through you writing it uplifts everyone that reads it and give us courage to buy your books to keep us motivated, again Thanks
This reading is for everyone married or not, it's powerful and I thank God I have Happy Ever After on my F/B. Please read! by all means.
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. You have no idea how much this spoke to me.
Just before reading this I’d made lunch for my daughter and had ust finished up my own. Anyway I am pregnant and will deliver by c- section in about 9 days and have been fretting over everything that could possibly go wrong with the delivery and b/c of all the economic problems my husband and I have been facing. I have tried being passive about our unemployment crisis (I won’t write a book I promise) but have faltered many times in doing so. Your writing today has equipped me with tools that I need to not just stay afloat but rise above my present circumstances. As I started off talking about my daily ritual and my problems that is generally how I would have ended it lamenting and complaining. Not now and not anymore…. I will add good stuff and eliminate the junk now.
God Bless you, and thanks for writing,
Wow…to God be the glory, Trendolyn! I know it’s all going to work together for the good, and I’m so blessed to hear about how you’ve been empowered!
As a mother I can’t help but worry. Its hard to stay positive for myself, I do it for my kids. Andrea
As a mother, I can’t help but to adjust the thoughts that enter my head. It’s a spiritual principle that our worst fears tend to come upon us. I had to learn how to pray over my children and believe God that during those times I’m not with them (and those times increase more and more as they get older), that HE will cover them and keep them safe.
I trust and believe in Him, so the worry part slowly began to dissipate until it disappeared all together. Now, when fretful thoughts try to fill up my mind regarding my children, I replace them with thoughts and scriptures that I know to be true, and believe that my children’s safety is more attributed to my belief in God’s Word (that I rehearse over and over again in my mind) than my ability to keep them safe.
There’s a balance, and worry throws things off balance for me.
I have been on vacation and seen this title and kept meaning to read it. I have to say thank you too. It seems no matter of hard I try at times sometimes you cant help but dwell! This came right on time. I realize the many blessing that I have in my life and look forard to many more.
Thank You Again!!