Nobody likes to hear the truth about the role that great money management plays in creating a happy and sexy marriage.
But it does.
If you take two couples with the same amount of income yet polar opposite approaches to money management, one couple being wealth conscious and the other being consumption conscious, you will see that they have different levels of peace, calm, and intimacy in their marriages.
The Ways of The Wealth-Conscious Couple
The wealth-conscious couple will set realistic goals for their money based on their values and the quality of life they want to maintain. They will protect their credit and monitor their credit score. They will save up for vacations, big-ticket items, and forgo impulse buying. They will opt-in for all retirement benefits at their places of employment as soon as possible. They may also decide to accelerate their journey to wealth by building a side-hustle that leverages their interests and passions.
And if they encounter a financial season of famine, they will never point fingers. They will look for solutions and work together until they make progress.
As a couple, they are living their lives on their own terms–not worrying about what others think and what others have. They look to each other for validation. And this deep trust creates an intimacy, a peace of mind, and a sense of safety and security that opens them up to each other at a very deep level. They become more connected and more vested in each other’s happiness. This connection makes their level of attraction for each other stronger and their commitment to their love that much more intense, resulting in a lot of good lovin’.
The Woes of Consumption-Conscious Couple
On the other hand, consumption-conscious couples do not have a clear understanding of limits and goals. They fail (over and over again) to create a budget and live within their means. They rely on credit to buy unnecessary purchases and fall behind on repaying their debt. In addition, they bypass long-term financial planning at their jobs so they can use the money to buy the quick, the now, and the new.
And once they face the financial chaos that they have co-created, they look for excuses instead of action. It is likely that they turn on each other when their finances crumple. This is because they built their marriage on a shaky foundation of smokes and mirrors. When they should have been attending to their marriage, relying on each other for emotional support and healthy limits, they preferred to seek validation from the outside world.
In marriages where the financial intimacy is lacking, it’s easy to understand why there is nothing much heating up in the bedroom. You can’t make love when you think the electricity will be cut off and your emergency fund is depleted. There is nothing sexy about foreclosure, constant calls from debt collectors, and the pervasive feeling that you are sleeping with your financial enemy.
In other words, nobody wants to be touched by the person that they find at fault for their financial demise.
BMWK—Are you working your budget to save your marriage? How will you and your spouse commit to that “frugal love”?
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