A few years ago, I did a survey on dating. And one of the results revealed that men are more influenced by society and friends when it comes to dating and relationships. This reminds me of the film “The Wood” from the late 90s. It begs the question….what society are they subscribing to and who are their friends?
If you really want to get to know someone, ask good questions that are open ended and not short response types. Don’t ask the questions all at once and make him or yourself feel like the date is an interview. But, consider questions to bring up in conversation that go beyond the surface of small talk.
Also, take note on the verbal and non-verbal cues that they give off when he’s giving the answers. Is the person you’re asking lying to you to say what you want to hear? Your discernment should be up and ready.
This list is to help women better understand specifically what influences the men they are dating or in relationships with. There could be more for sure, but I just wanted to start off with ten. Their answers can give you a deeper insight on them and how they view life, love, and the Lord.
Men, you can ask yourself these questions as well; it’s important to take the time to self-evaluate to be aware of where you are and where God has you.
- Who does he look up to or want to be like?
- Who is his mentor or does he mentor someone?
- Who does he confide in outside of God?
- Does he serve in a ministry that supports his growth and development as a man and disciple of Christ?
- Does he now or he did at some point have issues with authority, elders, or leadership?
- Who are his closest friends and why?
- Who is giving him advice and what kind is it mostly (worldly, godly)?
- How does he approach his role in dating and relationships?
- What are his sources for getting wisdom?
- What are his thoughts about his brothers, both in a community and Kingdom perspective?
Bonus: What does he think about Jesus?
Some of these questions may be a bit deep for some, but if you’re serious about your faith or values, you’d want to know how your date feels about the same topics. Sooner or later, you will find out, but cut the time and fear by asking the important questions when the opportunity presents itself.
Scriptures to meditate on:
“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” –1 Corinthians 15:33 NKJV
“He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.” –Proverbs 13:20
BMWK ladies, how do you get to know a man better?