Sherry had been married for three years and had one child. Her husband was a hard working, dedicated and compassionate man. Initially, Sherry thought she had everything she needed in a man, and she was right, until she later experienced difficulty with him connecting with her at a deeper level. She did her best to justify his actions by repeating things she had learned about men, like, “men can’t express emotions, men don’t like to talk, or a man can never understand a woman’s emotions.” Then one day she noticed her response when her husband attempted to comfort her by offering her help. She noticed how she began to shut down, allowing him to only go so far. Eventually, it lead to an argument and the help he offered her became the hell they had to live with. This brought the couple to marriage counseling.
1. Sherry had been hurt before. Her heart was broken and she had the hardest time giving her deepest self away in her marriage.
2. You can give your head away without giving your heart. Just because Sherry said “I do” at the ceremony, didn’t mean she did, because she kept her heart and only gave her husband her head. Three years of marriage was pushing her to release her heart, but it was too broken to give.
3. Trust has to do with giving something away, not just depending on someone. In relationships, you can say you trust someone you love, but you can never really know you do unless you give them your heart.
4. The heart is the hardest thing to give away in a relationship. It is easier to give your body away than it is to give your heart away. That’s why many couples can have sex and still feel so disconnected.
5. Marriage will draw deep things out of you that you never knew were there, and if your heart is broken, marriage will make it known.
It is always hard to trust when your heart is broken.
6. You can’t last long in a healthy marriage with a broken heart. You have to deal with your bleeding heart or you will damage the very thing you want to salvage, your marriage.
7. If you don’t take care of your broken heart, your partner’s heart will begin to bleed as well and then things began to get extremely dark and difficult.
8. There is an answer to the question, “How can you mend a broken heart”and it’s not in a new relationship. Broken hearts are mended by the people the heart belongs to and until that’s done, you will be bleeding in every relationship you find yourself in.
9. It is always hard to trust when your heart is broken.
10. You can’t get to the love you want until you can give your entire heart away. Broken hearts are difficult to give away.
BMWK: Do you have a broken heart and how has it impacted your relationship? Did you know it had an impact? What steps are You taking to mend your broken heart.
Lucy Pannell says
Erika Badu had a song about this very topic…”Bag Lady”, referring to the baggage of past relationships and how people allow that baggage to weigh them down and not move forward
Dré says
Profound and powerful read here, especially when we expect our spouses and significant other to fix hearts that they isn’t break!
This is most definitely food for thought and drink to share!
Julia says
Wow, this is profound. I appreciate the fact that until something broken is fixed it will continue to bleed. What is sad is some will use many many band-aids never coming to terms with what broke the heart in the first place.
Rhonda says
I am so very grateful for this article and especially happy to hear this from a brother. I have been married for 25 years. We have two children I am a full time wife and mother. I don’t feel fully in love with my husband because of past hurts. My husband is a very logical person and doesn’t like to deal with emotional things. If I try to pull emotional things out of him he becomes livid. I have a deep need to connect emotionally. It hurt me deeply when I would be completely open with him he would yell at me for expressing myself. He has apologized for being unfeeling. I forgive him but, it’s been hard to forget. I’ve been going thru the motions without emotions for fear of being hurt again. It’s very very hard to live like this. Please pray with me and for me.