The great Nelson Mandela stated in one of his most noteworthy quotes, “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
Just because a person has the capacity to love doesn’t mean they have been taught how to do it. Its very sad to see the rise of dysfunction in relationships; and the reason may be because many have not been taught how to love in order to adequately love a person the way they deserve. Or, it could be simply because love is hard.
So that brings us to the question, “What does love look like to you?” In what ways do you express love to others, and in what ways do you receive love? For me, love at its highest state is expressed through relentless commitment.
Considering God is love, the one promise I know I can depend on is that He will never leave me for He is faithfully committed to me because he loves me. Now granted there are many other ways for love to be expressed—from giving, physical intimacy, quality time spent and many more.
And, that, I believe, is what makes love so challenging—because we all give and receive love differently. To illustrate my point, I would like to present three reasons why I believe love is hard but worth it.
1. It reveals your flaws
No one wants to accept that they have issues. Even in job interviews one of the most popular questions is, “What are your strengths and weaknesses”? We naturally want to make our weaknesses sound like strengths. Its just a challenge to be honest about our flaws.
Yet, in a loving, close relationship, your shortcomings will eventually be revealed. And that can be hard for some people. My wife, who knows me better than anyone, has seen me at my best and my worse. Through the journey of loving her, she has also seen a lot of my flaws. When you learn to accept someone for their flaws is when love becomes worth it.
2. It requires all of you
When babies are first born, one of the first things doctors encourage is a skin-to-skin bonding with parent and newborn. This shows that one of life’s first initial impulses is a wanting from others—in this case, a baby’s need for comfort and security from his mother. But as you mature, you will learn that love doesn’t just want from others, but love requires you to give of yourself to others in return. Love requires you to turn down your wants and put your significant other before yourself. And giving selfless love to mate is hard work. But this becomes beautiful when two people both make it their highest goal to put the other before themselves. This is when love becomes a joy versus a burden.
Yes, love is hard, but when you begin to allow your significant other into the places no one else has access to, which is your flaws, then the level of trust will cause the love to explode between you.
BMWK, what the hardest part about love for you?