Stress, work, children, and bills are things that cause couples to disconnect from each other. Separation is another thing that can cause couples to disconnect. Long distance relationships, different work schedules, and extensive work related travel are all types of separation that can cause disconnect in a relationship.
Couples that have to manage a physical separation in addition to all the other things that can cause couples to disconnect have to really work at maintaining a connection in the presence of absence.
Stick with Your Routine
Whatever routines couples have put in place must remain intact when they are physically separated. For instance, my mate and I begin each day by communing with God. He prays for us each morning before we get out of bed.
My work requires extended overnight travel. Although we have days when we wake up in different cities, the routine of praying every morning before we get out of bed remains intact. On those days, I phone him at 5 am in the morning and he prays for us over the phone. It is such a ritual that I’d feel off kilter or lost without it.
Couples have a myriad of things they do together such as: having their first cup of coffee, coordinating family schedules while getting ready for work, exercising together, eating dinner together, watching the news in bed together, etc. These things don’t have to stop because you are physically separated.
Technology allows each of these things to be done in separate places simultaneously. There are several phone apps that allow real time face to face interaction along with Skype, and webcams. It just takes a little planning and good time management to make these things happen. If you travel for work, you can have room service deliver meals so that you can Skype and eat together.
You can use the Bluetooth device on your phone while exercising or discuss the family goings on for the day while getting ready in the morning. Or you can simply be old fashioned and actually use your phone to call your spouse while lying in bed and discuss what’s happening on the news in your respective cities.
Couples that work different schedules have to take advantage of every opportunity their ships pass in the night. These couples have to work really hard to ensure that they don’t simply become tag team partners for bill paying and kid rearing.
These couples get a prolonged honeymoon phase in that they don’t see each other for extended periods of time daily. Which means that there is less time to argue and get on each other’s nerves. The energy and excitement in these relationships should be at an all-time high.
Morning and evening passings should be filled with a lot of flirting, stolen kisses, and naughty touches. Weekends should be explosive from all of the pinup energy from the quick stolen moments during the week. Sharing a quick breakfast in the morning, and spending at least 10 minutes of alone time in the evening should be routines incorporated daily to stay connected.
Recharge Your Connection
In addition to maintaining routines, couples can stay connected by finding ways to rejuvenate and reenergize their love daily. Staying connected takes just as much of a conscious effort as staying committed.
Couples must take action daily to make their mate and their relationship a priority. Here are a few things that couples can do incite love and ignite passion daily to stay connected in the absence of time, energy, and yes physical presence.
- Send your mate (I love you or just thinking of you) text throughout the day
- Write your mate love letters
- Share memorable moments via phone by sending a text or photo
- Leave a love note on their pillow, bathroom mirror, or in their lunchbox
- Tell your mate the things you love, appreciate, and miss most about them
- Chronicle your love story in a series of text or letters (end each entry on a highlight)
- Create a mini family photo album for your mate
- Send phone videos of random everyday family moments
- Find a way to speak to your mate in their love language daily
There are so many things that couples have to contend with during the course of their relationship. It takes consistent and constant action to build and sustain a happy healthy relationship.
Once upon a time I Do’s, don’t always make for a happily ever after. Your desire, determination, and discipline with staying connected increases your odds for a successful relationship.
BMWK family are you doing everything you can to maintain connection in the presence of absence in your relationship?
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