You are probably thinking: “What could I learn from a 72 day marriage?” But after Kim Kardashian provided an explanation on her personal blog on Tuesday, I thought there are several lessons to be learned here.
Kim denied the allegations that her marriage to Kris Humphries was publicity stunt that was orchestrated for her own financial gain (as some media outlets have reported that she made millions on this wedding.) Kim wrote:
“I believed in love and the dream of what I wanted so badly. I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off when now I know I probably should have. I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people.”
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“I never had the intention of hurting anybody and I accept full responsibility for my actions and decisions, and for taking everyone on this journey with me. It just didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for.”
Since I do not personally know Kim, I can only go by what she says. And in her message to her fans, she made several key statements that we can learn from:
- Money, Marriage, Babies, and Divorce can not solve your problems. Some people think that all of their relationship problems will be solved if they had more money but as late rapper Biggie Smalls will tell you “Mo Money Mo problems.” If you can’t work together when you are broke, then you probably will have problems working together with money. Likewise if you are having serious problems with a person or serious doubts about that person, making a lifelong commitment like getting married or having a baby, is not going to be the answer to your prayers. The only sure way to solve your problems is to address them head on and to do the necessary work to resolve them (where the key word here is work.) The same can be said for people seeking to get a divorce before really trying to work on their marriage. Divorce should not be an option unless you are sure that you have done everything in your power to work on your marriage. In 72 days you probably don’t even have your wedding gifts unpacked or your wedding album back from the photographer.
- You have to do what’s best for you and your relationship. Kim stated that she did not want to disappoint a lot of people. But she quickly found out, that the only opinions that mattered are the opinions of the two people that had to look each other in the eye and make a promise before God to love and respect each other. The decision on whether to stay in a relationship or leave a relationship rests solely with you and your spouse/partner. You have to do what’s best for you and focus on your own happiness. In the end, you are responsible for choices that you make, not your mother, father, siblings, friends or fans. Kim should have read my previous article Marriage Is Not One Size Fits All!
- Marriage is not a fairy tale”.....but you can have your Happily Ever After, if you are willing to do the work that it takes to maintain a happy healthy relationship. This work involves: Sacrifice -putting other’s needs before your own, Compromise ““ we both give up a little for the good of the relationship, Communication – this important before and after you are married”...don’t ever stop talking and planning for your relationship. If you can achieve great success in your careers (as Kim and Kris have done) then you certainly have the ability to achieve success in your marriage”...if that’s what you want.
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What other key points do you think we can learn from in this situation? Let us know in the comments section and keep it nice! 😉
Anonymous says
Very good article
Ronnie_BMWK says
Thanks
The Travelin Diva says
Kim Kardashian needs to read BlackandMarriedwithKids.com! Seriously.
Ronnie_BMWK says
You are right!!! If she read this site perhaps she would not be in that predicament. She would have known that marriage is a covenant and that you don’t enter into it lightly …but she would also know that marriage is awesome..and so much fun too!!
Jocelyn says
Well said!
Ronnie_BMWK says
thanks…..I do have my own thoughts on whether she married for love or for money/fame…but she denied it so who am I to judge. Either way this can’t be easy for her. Hopefully she use this as a teachable moment.
Mwrobins22 says
Well said!
Ms. says
I think before Kim walks down the aisle again she needs to take an extended break from dating and ‘romance’ and get to know herself. How do you make marriage vows to someone and then 72 days later you walk away because you got caught up in the film/hoopla. What it comes down to is because she saw her sister Khloe marry LaMar after a month and so far it’s working, she thought marrying Kris would give her the same fate. I pray both Kim and Kris find peace during this difficult time.
Ronnie_BMWK says
She has not even given herself much time to build a marriage..how could she consider divorce at this point. I pray that she has someone on her team that can give her better guidance.
Trisha says
I realize too that marriage isn’t a fairy tale. Don’t rush into getting married but instead follow the leading of the Spirit and communicate with each other each step of the way.