Have you ever had someone tell you what they would do if they were in your situation? Well the fact of the matter is that no one can ever be you in your situation. So when people say, “If I were you..” only bad advice will follow. When figuring out solutions to our own problems and answers to questions our minds go in a multitude of directions. Most of the mental paths that we take are based on our own individual experiences so how could someone else give you the answers that you need?
The answer is… they can’t.
However, these ideas do not stop a person from thinking that they can think for you. This is why you need to be very careful about accepting advice from others. Especially unsolicited advice and when it comes to your marriage.
Here are my top 3 reasons why you shouldn’t take advice from just anybody:
- They are not you. No one is. Therefore, the advice that comes from them may not be for you. What you might be receiving is leftovers from whatever is going on in the giver’s life. If they are happy, you will get good advice. If they are sad or bitter, you may get the residuals of that sadness or bitterness.
- Consider the person giving the advice. Do you trust them? Do they love you? Would they sway you in the right direction or in a direction that will somehow benefit them. This can hold true whether the advice is about business, marriage or life in general. I know that we would like to believe that everyone has our best interest at heart but that is not always the case.
- Do they claim to be a professional? What are their credentials or background? There are a LOT of pseudo life coaches and trainers out there who swear they can take you to the promise land. Be careful with these people. A lot of them are just trying to make few dollars from you. Even though a lot of them may be professionally trained, many of them are not. A true professional would never advise you based on what they would do if they were in your situation.
I am not saying that everyone is going to give you bad advice, but what I am saying is to please consider the person that you are taking the advice from and if they truly have your best interest at heart.
Most of the time, when we approach people for advice we have already made up our minds as to what we want to do anyway. We are only seeking validation. Make sure that you are seeking what you need from a person who is going to be honest and not deceitful with the advice that they give.
BMWK, When you need advice where do you go to get it?