February 14th…Yup it comes the same time, same day, every year, but for some reason it continues to be one of the most stressful days of the year for men! Well that’s partially because as men we spend so much time juggling multiple women that the decision of who to spend the day with alone is stressful in itself. I would encourage you all to pick one and just stick with her…trust me it’s easier that way (I’ll digress from that point until a later article)! Okay, the second reason the holiday becomes so stressful is because we fail to plan and thus we plan to fail! Every year we decide to make the last minute store run or try to make the last minute reservation just to see that the stores are sold out of the good stuff and the restaurants are all booked up. As a result we end up with the same played box of chocolates, single rose, and teddy bear and expect her to be excited about that. This year I want things to be different for you fellas so here are 3 steps you can take to make sure you have an amazing Valentine’s Day!
1) LISTEN! Let me say that again…LISTEN! For some reason listening has become a lost art in the world and in relationships and thus we end up scratching our heads when it comes time to doing something special for our mate; this should not be the case. Fellas your woman talks…yes, I am almost sure she talks a lot, thus she probably has been telling you everything she wants and desires all year long but you failed to tune in. Well now that it’s getting close to Valentine’s Day I suggest that you listen. If she has been talking about wanting to go a certain place, do a certain thing, or have a certain experience now is the time to plan it for her. This is where my next point comes in.
2) It’s not about the gift, it’s about the effort and the planning. Anybody can purchase a gift, and trust me your woman has been getting gifts her entire life. What most women want to see is that you took the time and you put some effort into making her day special. This year instead of breaking the bank to buy that piece of jewelry or that expensive purse (both things she can do on her own) try planning her day from beginning to end. She shouldn’t have to do anything but show up and look pretty. That means you take care of every detail, thus she doesn’t have to lift a finger or plan anything all day! Please keep in mind that the day should revolve around things she likes or has maybe been mentioning lately. You see that’s where that LISTENING thing I mentioned earlier comes into play. Planning and executing is key because it shows that you know how to take control of a situation and execute a plan. It doesn’t matter how new or old your relationship is your woman will ALWAYS find you taking control to be sexy and manly. Oh and by the way you can usually plan an entire day for less money than buying that one expensive gift that you think makes up for the lack of effort you put into everything.
3) Stay away from the cliche’s. Fellas every woman wants to feel like she is different. She doesn’t want to feel like she had the same experience or received the same gift that every other woman on earth received that day. Your woman wants to feel like she is your queen and that you chose her because she was different and deserved different than any other woman out there. Be original and creative; that means stay away from the normal this year. You can buy 100 cards that say what you might want to express to her, but if you write the same thing in your own card it will have twice the impact. You can buy dessert but if you make dessert and it only tastes half as good it will still mean three times as much! You can send her to the spa or you can create a spa in your own house or hotel room and even if your massage doesn’t feel as good as a professional’s it will warm her heart much more!
Instead of letting this Valentine’s Day be stressful for you look at it as a challenge. Challenge yourself to make the day as special and as intimate as it can be for the woman that you CHOSE to make yours! Take these 3 steps into consideration and make her day amazing and I can promise you that your night will be even more amazing! Have a great Valentine’s Day!
BMWK — How do you plan to make Valentine’s Day amazing for you and your mate?
Very well written post. I particularly like #1 Listen!!! My husband and I did that this year and will take a local mini vacation. Away from the house away from the kids and away from the demands that life places on us everyday. We plan to get back to ‘us’ straight no chaser. I’m counting down the days until Feb. 15th
Thank you in advance to everyone who reads this article! I really appreciate you taking the time to read it and share it! You can find me on my Facebook page at http://www.thefacebook.com/xklusivethoughts or see more of my work at http://www.xklusivethoughts.com
Thank You to the readers and to Lamar and Ronnie!!!
Valentines day is over rated and a waste of money. Do all that when I’m stressed, having a rough week, kiss driving me insane. No I don’t want you motivated by some made up day that falls in February. Maybe it’s just me.
Mr. Manchand, I am sorry that you feel so stressed out about Valentine’s Day. What I have found is that men especially feel stressed because in most instances, they have not really made their mate feel special throughout the year, now that there is a day where they are ‘expected’ to make their mate feel special, then their stressed. Speaking for myself, it’s not Valentine’s Day, it is the thought that my husband appreciates me and is showing it whether it is Valentine’s Day or not!!!! It should not just be done on Valentine’s Day, it should be done a lot more often and there Valentines won’t be such a big deal. Hope this helps.
This is a nice piece, but when did valentines day become our day only (female)?…this is a day to express love and many ways..but we need not stress the brothas out when it should really be 50/50. I love planning and arranging romantic dates with my husband, and he is learning to recognize, listen and to put quality time into the marriage equally. And this should be an everyday thing not a one day in February thing.
Letrell, I hope you have a great day in February, and a STRESS-LESS day at that….but like the article stated if you plan ahead then you will probably have a stress free day…fingers crossed for ya
Hello and thanks for all of the comments and good discussion. The intent of my article was not to imply that Valentines Day was the only day to do something special for your mate it was just to give a few tips on how to make it less stressful and more meaningful. Many times in relationships we get so caught up in the whirlwind of life that we need a certain occasion to give us that push to do something special. These concepts can be used for any occasion rather it be anniversary, birthday, a just because day ect. We should all be in tune enough with our mates that these days don’t present stress rather they become just an opportunity to do something even more special. My wife and I rotate years of planning. One year I plan Valentines Day and the next is here that way we share the occasion. It’s my belief that if we follow the 3 steps in the article we can make the occasion work best for both parties and make it less stressful. Thanks for reading and please share the article and view more of my work at http://www.xklusivethoughts.com