When you first get married, everything starts off like a bed of roses. The euphoric feeling is wonderful. It would be great if this feeling would last forever.
Good news. The feeling can last a lifetime if your house is established on solid ground.
I wish I had this information when I first got married. My husband and I didn’t gain this knowledge until somewhere around year five. By then, the honeymoon glow was long gone, and we needed help.
We invested our time and effort in counseling. We learned a lot. This was many years ago yet these three marital truths have stuck with us through the years.
1. Leave mama and daddy’s house, and establish your own.
This is easily done in the physical. You pack your bags and move into your own place. However, I do understand there are times when you may need to stay with family. In some cases, there are family customs that involve everyone living under the same roof.
That being said, the mental move can be greater than the physical move. When you marry, you leave father and mother and cling to your spouse. Now is the time to establish what is right for the two of you. Everything from how the dishwasher is loaded to how money is spent.
In the husband’s childhood home, perhaps the man handled the money. This doesn’t mean this is how it will happen in your home, but you have to discuss it. Establish what works best for the two of you. Establish a household of your own.
2. Establish a division of labor within your home.
Who is going to do what and what will we do together? Dishes, cooking, grocery store, house cleaning, yard work, balancing the checkbook, maintenance of cars, etc. Talk about it.
Establish a system that you both agree on. Then, remember you’re on the same team and help each other wherever you can.
3. Decree there will be no division in your home.
To do this, you must be as like-minded as possible. You are still your own person for sure. Yet and still, your goals are the same and you agree on your future. Your morals and standards for life line up.
A house divided against itself can’t stand. This goes back to the same team approach. As husband and wife, you are on the same team, trying to reach the same goal. Yet, you hold different positions that are of benefit to the team.
In a football game, the quarterback can’t do the receiver’s job and vice versa, but they greatly need and depend on another to reach their goal. The same is true in a marriage.
The honeymoon feeling where every day is a good day and nothing can get you off track doesn’t have to end. Yes, life will happen and challenges will come but when you establish your marriage on solid ground, it will be hard for those things to get you off track.
BMWK veterans, tells us how long you’ve been married and what lessons you wished you learned as newlyweds.
Leave a Reply