Are you wondering how to get back into the dating scene? Maybe you’re dating after divorce or a long-term relationship. Or, you may be like the average single in the U.S. who hasn’t been on a date in 2 years or more!
If so, you may have questions about how the dating game has changed, what your role is in finding “The One,” and why you’re struggling with finding quality people to date.
Let me share 3 tips to help you get back into the dating scene with confidence so that you can find and keep an amazing relationship.
1. Dating Isn’t What It Used to Be
Real talk. Modern day dating is tough! It seems like there’s no agreed upon definition of dating so you may meet people who think it’s ok to just hang out or meet up instead of actually taking you out on a date, folks who want to text you instead of call you, and others who’ll assume you should pay for the date.
Tip: Many people get discouraged and convince themselves they’re happier without all that drama. However, if you’re going to find “The One,” you’ll need an unstoppable mindset. Patience, persistence and a positive attitude will help you go the distance. Write down why you want to find a relationship and remind yourself of your purpose for dating often. This will encourage you when you want to give up.
2. You Need Access to A Lot of People
It’s hard to find “The One” if you’re not going on dates! And you can’t go on dates unless you’re meeting people. If you’re not meeting enough people at work, church or through friends, you’re putting yourself in a dating drought.
Tip: I’m a matchmaker, but I believe in online dating because it gives you access to other singles who are looking for relationships. 1/3 of marriages have started online! Make sure you choose the right site, set up your profile so that you attract the right people and weed through the wrong ones, and invest at least 30 minutes per day into connecting with people online.
3. Give the Dating Process Time to Work
You’ll struggle, get frustrated and give up if you don’t understand that dating is a process. I tell my clients all the time to not look at a date through marriage eyes. When you meet someone for the first time, change “OMG is he the one?!” to “Do I like the person I am when I’m around him?”
Tip: Remember, the purpose of a first date is really just to see if you want a second date! You also need skills to help you flirt, communicate, create chemistry, and more so that you can build a lasting relationship. Rejection is a necessary part of the process, so don’t get stopped by it. It’s just God’s way of protecting you from the wrong people!
Have fun and enjoy getting back in the dating scene!
BMWK family, do you enjoy the dating process? Why or why not?
Alicia says
I’m over 40 and have been single for 14 years and just started to get back into the dating pool, but haven’t been on a date yet. Should I ask for the date and not leave it up to the man to ask me out? I don’t want to come off as aggressive.
Aesha says
Hi Alicia,
I don’t recommend you directly ask a man out. You can create opportunities by showing you are open, flirty, and interested. Come connect with me on my blog. I share tons of tips there, including a post I just wrote on what men in their 40s look for in a woman. https://www.AeshaOnline.com
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