Girlfriend duties to wifely duties – with the change in relationship status comes to a change in duties and tasks. The same goes for men – boyfriend to husband. Responsibilities and expectations change as well; and for each household, it is different. Your mate will not have the same expectation of you or you of them, as your neighbor has of their mate. It’s personal. It’s something that needs more love, conversation, and communication. If not, the expectation will be unmet and you will end up with two unhappy people. Tell the truth: you do not expect the same thing of a boyfriend as you do of a husband or vice versa. When you say, “I do”, things change – they increase for the better. If you’ve been recently married or you just want to know more about how to run your marriage smoothly, read on.
Must-Know Wifely Duties & Husbandly Tasks for Couples
In this article:
- Cooking: Who Must Cook in the House?
- Doing Laundry: Who Must Wash the Clothes?
- Be Real: Division of Chores
Cooking: Who Must Cook in the House?
In her house growing up, her dad did all of the cooking. Living on her own, she has been cooking for herself but looks forward to the day she gets married and her husband takes over this responsibility. Sure, she will help out, she is not selfish, but it sure will be nice when her man is doing the cooking and dinner is ready in the evenings when she gets home from work. Humm…
Doing Laundry: Who Must Wash the Clothes?
When he grew up, his mom did all the laundry; just toss it in the hamper and at the end of the week, bam! Clean clothes, folded and neatly stacked on his bed. He doesn’t mind doing laundry but man, when he gets married – that’s one thing that he sure won’t mind letting go of.
Be Real: Division of Chores
Neither the new bride or groom has had a positive example of wifely duties and husbandly tasks but they each have their ideas of how they want things to go once they are married. She has been out on her own for a while. She has her own job, her own car, and a nice home. He has some “things” too and a decent job. He wants them to put all of their finances together and he manages the family budget. Wow!
These are all real-life situations that need to be talked about. Open dialogue versus assumption is key. A family division of labor conversation is necessary to discuss the wifely duties and husbandly tasks at home. Also, a family financial meeting is needed. When you have the conversations here are three things to keep in mind.
- Talk about how chores inside the home will be divided and when they are to be accomplished. Who will cook, who will clean what room, who will grocery shop, what do we do together?
- Have conversations about the duties outside of the house. Who will oversee the maintenance of the family cars? How does yard work get done? Do we do it together or hire someone?
- Lay financial concerns on the table. Create a family budget. Decide how monies will be spent. How many bank accounts will you have? Is everything that is mine, yours? How do you hold each other accountable so that the financial health of the family is kept in tack and both husband and wife are aware of what is going on?
Do you agree that household chores need to be shared equally as wifely duties and husbandly tasks or not? Here’s a video from Vox to help your decision-making process:
When you take the leap of faith from girlfriend to wife and boyfriend to husband, things do change. It should be changing for the better. However, don’t assume it will happen naturally. Refrain from thinking your mate should already know. Take time to create a safe space to have an open dialogue about your desires and expectations. You may be surprised at how much each of you is willing to give to make your house a happy home filled with peace and blessings.
BMWK family, did you have certain expectations for your specific wifely duties and husbandly tasks before you got married? Tell us in the comments section below!
Up Next: How I Went From a Childish Wife to a Mature Wife
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published in March 2015, it has been updated for accuracy and relevancy.
Excellent article! Matters like these should be worked out before entering a marriage.
This seems simple enough but my husband doesn’t cook or clean I do both and I pay all the household bills this has caused me to be resentful towards him. We talked about our expectations before marriage which sounded as reasonable as the solutions in this article but that changed after we married.
Anon, I’m sorry you’re facing this challenge. if you’ve exhausted your means talking maybe it’s time to reach out to a marriage mentor in your local area. There are some great resources available online and in person, whichever way the two of you are more comfortable.
Great article. It made me appreciate my husband more. He communicated this well when we were boyfriend & girlfriend and they our marriage. I will share this article for sure!
I want to be married. I’ve been in phone conversations with a man I went to high school with. He’s been divorced for five years and he’s looking to marry in two years or less. He’s asked me to house hunt, asked about financial status, ring size and carat size preferred. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself. But these discussions are important. Things have been pushed back because of his mother being ill. But I’m trying to be supportive, encouraging. Don’t want to be overbearing and stalkish. He’s worth waiting on.
Great article!!! But what a strange coincidence..Kimberly ask to see the divorce papers..I’m going through a divorce now from a situation described as yours and wow she has the same name..GOOD LUCK!
This is good! When I got married at 24 all my expectations was is that I was getting married and living happily ever after. We had no discussions about anything. My assumed expectations was that we would do everything together never taking into consideration what I was bringing to the table and what he was bringing to the table. His expectation was his marriage was not going to be like his parents marriage, where his dad brought the money home and mom ran everything. He was determined to be THE MAN of his house. So we were off on the wrong foot from the beginning because we had no conversation prior to marriage. Needless to say, it didn’t last long. I subscribe to your website to prayerfully prepare myself for the man that God has created just for me; So I’m working on ME. This is good!!!!!
Hello great article , but my husband doesn’t cook nor clean and he is quite junky ..now he does take care of the finances because he was more established before I came along .. I am not a shopper I handle my responsibilities because being a single parent for so long I had to make a lot of the decisions. I am getting better with talking to my husband about finances but its still a touchy situation because I consider my husband a little money hungry and I was raised in a home like that and it is not a good feeling you should never make a person feel inadequate because they don’t have what you have this is a partnership so I handle what I need to handle and when I see there is a need to buy I buy, But at the end of the day everything is taken care of.
I needed this 20 plus years ago! Help!!!!
Great article it made me realise the impotence of maintaining house hold chaos together