Not all married women behave like a mature wife. Some of them still act childish and don’t realize they are acting like one. But, these women only need some advice and enlightenment, so they would come to their senses and start behaving maturely. Here, I will tell you how I transformed from being a childish partner to a mature wife.
How I Transformed to Become a Mature Wife
In this article:
Talking Like A Child
When I was a child, I talked like a child. I would disrespect my husband by saying anything I wanted towards him. I had a smart mouth and would curse at him whenever I was mad. I would also purposely use words I knew would hurt him.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. ~1 Corinthians 13:11
Thinking Like A Child
When I was a child, I thought like a child. I thought I was supposed to get my way all the time and I was supposed to have whatever I wanted whenever I wanted however I wanted. I thought if my husband didn’t buy me gifts all the time, he didn’t love me. I thought if I wasn’t getting constant attention, my husband no longer wanted me.
Reasoning Like A Child
When I was a child, I reasoned like a child. I reasoned I could treat my husband the way I saw others treat their husbands, which wasn’t always good. I reasoned I didn’t need to submit to my husband because I was a strong woman and would bow down to no man. I reasoned my kids came first, then me, and him. I reasoned I didn’t need to show my husband any appreciation for anything because he knew I did appreciate him.
How I Came to My Senses
One day, the Spirit made me examine myself and became my teacher. It was like parts of my marriage were played back to me that made me feel awful about my treatment towards my husband. I had to grow up and become a woman. I suddenly became spiritually mature.
- When I matured, I apologized to my husband for the way I talked to him.
- When I matured, I began to use my words to encourage and uplift my husband.
- When I matured, I began speaking good things about him and our marriage.
When I matured, I started changing the way I thought. I started to think of my husband’s wants and needs. I started to think of all the ways my husband shows his love towards me, by making sure the bills were paid, the kids were taken care of, I was taken care of, my car was maintained, and many other ways I didn’t pay attention to.
When I matured, I started to reason I needed to be a better wife, so we can become a better couple too. I reasoned the Bible could tell me how to be a wife and discovered I had the order of the household wrong. I reasoned not only did I need to show my appreciation to my husband, but he also needed to know I did appreciate all that he did for me and my kids.
Listen to how Devale Ellis talks about his wife’s support during one of the darkest periods in his life:
My spirituality made me realize I was acting childish all along and finally had to behave like a mature wife. So, I had to stop talking, thinking, and reasoning like a child if I wanted to stay in my marriage and build a stronger relationship with my husband. I had to put away those childish things and grow up to become the wife that my husband needs and the wife that God called me to be.
BMWK ladies, have you put away your childish things? Tell us in the comments section below!
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Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on January 25, 2017, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.
God Bless you Latoya for this post. This also applies to some men who think they are men but still behave like boys.
I think your right as far as some men’s growth ,do you think that guys gave a hard time finding themselves ,I think sometimes my husband has some insecurities within himself and he tries to put the off on me to make me feel like it’s me .
Yes Kim, I feel the same way about my husband
Love it. I too have had the experience of growning into a mature wife. Even though some things came natural there were still things I was doing and not doing trying to mimic others. But God started showing me the errors of my ways and He’s still maturing me till this day.
I recently heard a pastor say “marriage is designed to make you look outside yourself” boy was he right. I have learned through the most soul crushing experiences a couple can face how to become a mature wife, after having been unfaithful to my husband. I’m still waiting for his forgiveness and praying for reconciliation, but this journey has been the hardest thing I’ve ever faced in my life. It’s shameful and embarrassing to think about the immature selfish and self righteous words, thoughts, and actions attached to my infidelity. The recovery process is one that requires maturity designed outside of yourself. I wish I had so many of the articles and resources on this site before I made the life changing choice to be unfaithful.
I love this article , and I will reevaluate myself on how I speak to my husband although I uplift him and I have supported him in everything ,when I found out that he was having an affair it left me feeling some type of way and although I thought that I forgave him maybe I really haven’t so now I know that I need to go back and do something different .
This article reminds us to be mindful of how to speak and treat our spouses which usually comes from how we internally view ourselves. The hurt, bitterness, anger and resentment transform into actions towards others and more times than not, they had nothing to do with the internal injuries. Learning to forgive ourselves and love ourselves provides a platform to grow in order to be able to better love and forgive others. Thanks for sharing. Blessings!
This was a great write. I too use to think if all the attention was on me.. he must not want me anymore!
I have daughters and sisters, nieces, aunts, cousins. . .women that I believe that saving the man/husband is how they present themselves mature and ready for a committed relationship because of how much the do for “him”.
Great writeup. Though not married yet, but I’ve got some knowledge to help when married.
Great article. I felt this to my core as I am currently in the place where I realize that I was not a fully mature wife. Working every day to become better and hope my husband will join me on this journey to become fully mature as well.
I was a teenage wife. I was very immature. Although, I saw my mother as a wife. My dad and her argued a lot. My mother would ask my father, “ Are you ever wrong?” He would always answer, No!” Ironically, my husband and I argue a lot too. In both relationships, no one wants to be the bigger person, but someone has to be. And I think , I will start being that person, after reading this article. Besides, my husband can’t argue by himself. Thanks for the good advice.