If you’ve grown up as a female in this world, then you’ve likely been taught that to be truly happy, you need your Prince Charming to make you complete. You go to family gatherings and all your Aunties are giving you looks of sympathy and/or questioning. They’re probably thinking, “She’s such a smart, pretty girl—why is she still single? She better stop being so picky and settle with someone, anyone decent before she gets too old to walk down that aisle…” Raise your hand if you’re reading this and you’ve been there.

Well, I’ve spent the past three years redefining what it means for me to be in a relationship after spending too much time worrying about how everyone else—including those well-meaning “Aunties”—defined it. Right before I went on my self-imposed dating fast, I had gone on a couple of dates that I knew were a bad idea, but I went anyways. Not because I was really interested in the person (he was too immature), but because he was charming, flattering and a good distraction. After the second date, I decided to shut it down, because I realized that I didn’t have time for distractions that had no chance of becoming the main attraction. And that was the first reason for my break from dating:

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