Married people get on my nerves!!! Okay, now that I’ve got your attention and you probably have a slight defensive attitude let me explain. First and foremost, this isn’t something I originally thought.

But I started thinking it more and more when I heard a single person speak on how married people get on their nerves because they have the thing that they wish for but haven’t been able to find.

They’ve found that love, that companion, that “soul mate,” that commitment, that partnership that people yearn for, yet, let them tell it, they are as miserable as ever and wish they were single. Well let me add on to this idea and take it one step further on why NEW SCHOOL married people get on my nerves.

DISCLAIMER: I’m mot saying that old school married people didn’t have their issues, but because I am more closely related to the new school married folks, I can say these things and I believe we have to be willing to make a shift in order for our marriages to last!

They spend more money on WEDDINGS than WISDOM!

According to TheKnot.com, the average cost of an American wedding is $31,213. Couples are pulling out all of the stops to make sure their weddings are Facebook ready and Instagram famous, utilizing hashtags and all.

While I see nothing wrong with that, that same couple is less likely to invest in any pre-marital counseling, any couples counseling, conferences, books, workshops etc, but then they wonder why the first time they run into a marital issue they have no clue how to handle it.

One year later they’re divorced. Marriage doesn’t just take love, it takes skill and sometimes that skill comes from seeking new information. How is it that we live in the information age yet we seem more ignorant that ever?? Hmmmm

They tell the entire world their business!

You know, the older I get and look back at old school marriages, the one thing I notice is that they could be having all kinds of issues but not many people knew about it. Usually you wouldn’t find out until you were an adult and your mom or dad starts confessing all of the things you never knew about their relationship.

More times than not, they had a united front in public. This new school era will have a relationship status of “married” on Monday and by Friday it will be “it’s complicated.” They will call their mate out on social media platforms on Tuesday, then be on date night by Saturday.

They will tell their entire circle of friends and their parents every time they are going through an issue and then wonder why their friends and parents don’t get along with their mate. As married people, you have to learn to work through your issues INSIDE of your marriage. While it’s important to have an outlet, Facebook and family don’t need to know everything!

They think SACRIFICE and COMPROMISE are 4 letter words!

I don’t know what it is, but for some reason, many new school folks believe sacrifice is synonymous with settling and that compromising with their mate means compromising who they are. As a result we see these constant power struggles within marriage because two people are more focused on INDEPENDENCE than INTERDEPENDENCE.

For some reason, we want the IDEA of the marriage, but when it comes down to the reality of the fact that you sometimes have to sacrifice a little bit of your wants and desires for the betterment of your marriage then people say stuff like “well I just feel like I’m losing myself in this marriage.” Well sometimes you will have to lose a little of yourself…I guess no one taught you that in that pre-marital counseling I talked about in point number 1.

They give up too easily!

I find it funny how people will not only rush into marriage but then rush to get out. I’ve even heard of people calling their first marriages a “practice marriage.” All relationships have seasons, and for some reason we think the first bad season is reason enough to just call it quits.

The minute you can’t change your mate into who you want that person to be, the first time y’all have major conflict, the intimacy starts to dwindle a little, or your mate may be going through a personal shift you start drawing up divorce papers.

The same person you paid 30 grand to marry you want to run from without even thinking twice about those wedding vows you took. If you’re going to marry you need to develop some staying power!

I’m not saying that anything about marriage is perfect, and I understand that society is evolving but what I am saying is that in order for our marriages to last we have to get real about the mindsets we have going into them and while we are in them.

Marriage is the ultimate sacrifice and you only get out of it what you put into it and the truth of the matter is that people all around are watching you. They are watching you because they want something to aspire towards and they hope that they too can find that companionship, partnership, love, and commitment that you were so excited to post about on on Facebook.

BMWK, what gets on your nerve about new school married people?