We are now in a New Year, and many of us who are single may have it on our list to be in a relationship or to marry this year. This is an awesome goal to have, but are we ready for a relationship or for marriage? Here are a few things we should consider working on to ensure we are ready for a new relationship or a new marriage.
1. Become Emotionally Available
There are many singles I’ve met who may have a lot going for them (career, finances, etc.), but emotionally they are unavailable. This may be due to unresolved hurt from past relationships, or being emotionally attached to someone that we are not in a relationship with; or we mistrust others so we build walls up around our hearts. For us to be able to enter healthy relationships and have them remain solid and grow, we must be willing to work through our emotional barriers. Whether it’s forgiving an ex for hurting us (physically or emotionally), or resolving negative relationships with parents, we must decide to work towards emotional healing. Releasing others that have yet to make a commitment to us is also something that many of us need to do. We may need to consult a mental health professional for help in this area.
2. Make Sure You’re Physically Prepared for a Relationship
With an abundance of health food stores, food processors for smoothies, gyms and so on, we should be the healthiest people around. Of course this is not the case for many of us, so we have work to do. Physical activity is recommended at least 5 times a week, with 5 servings of fruit and veggies every day and plenty of water. Sleeping for at least 6 hours should also be a goal to work towards. Don’t ignore annual checkups, as this is the best way to keep major illnesses in check. If unusual symptoms appear, contact a medical professional immediately. We need to be healthy and more prepared to manage a new relationship when it comes our way.
3. Get Your Finances in Order
While we are working on our emotional health and physical health, our finances must also be considered. Eliminating personal debt is definitely something that your future spouse will appreciate! Have a plan to get debt-free. Reduce excessive spending on eating out, electronics or in any other category that can be downsized so that additional funds will be available to eliminate debt faster. The method of paying off the smallest debt (or the debt with the highest interest rate) works well, as long as you plan to add your newly available money towards other debt to get it paid off faster. Your future spouse will appreciate your plan of action as you make the effort to reduce unnecessary spending and gain control of your finances. Also remember to save at least 10% of your income to be prepared for unplanned emergencies or unemployment. Order free copies of your credit report annually to keep up with your debt elimination progress and to check for fraud.
4. Don’t Neglect Your Spiritual Well Being
As a Christian, I believe in connecting with God regularly through prayer and worship, and I typically listen to the Bible on my Bible app. Attending services and participating in ministry opportunities also helps to build my spirit. Spiritual health is sometimes ignored or minimized, but we must have a solid foundation on which to build our lives. Strong spiritual health also guides us, much like a compass, toward making better emotional, financial and health-related choices.
Push yourself to work towards one of the 4 goals each week, and before long you will be well on your way in preparing for a new relationship or marriage. I wish all of you a very prosperous year, and all the best in your pursuits as you prepare for the life you desire.
BMWK – what things should a person focus on as they prepare for marriage?