Communication strategies have helped my marriage tremendously. It took my husband and I years to learn the 5 strategies I’m going to share with you. And the truth is, we didn’t have great examples of marriage before us when we were younger.

As a married couple, we learned some things by watching educational marriage videos. But we learned even more through trial and error. Hopefully, what we have learned will be helpful to you.

Patience is the peace and resilience to respond with care every time. It’s not putting up with something on the outside while you are screaming on the inside – that’s called tolerance.

1. Only form an opinion after you have listened intently and completely.

Most of us form our comeback before our spouse finishes talking. Before they finish their sentence, we already know what we are going to say in response. Active listening requires us to focus in on what is being said. It causes us to listen to understand and hear our spouse’s heart.

2. Express your feelings regarding the conversation.

This communication strategy allows you to be true to yourself. Don’t lie just speak your truth in love.

• If you’re tired express, “I’m really tired let’s talk about this after dinner.”
• If you’re getting angry it’s okay to say, “Listen, I need to talk about this later when I can think clearly.”
• If you’re feeling attacked try, “I feel like I’m being attacked right now. I need to take a break from this conversation.”
• If you’re feeling heard, appreciated or understood let that be known at well.

When you express honestly express your feelings in love, there is a better chance your mate will receive what you’re saying.    

3. Remember you are on the same team.

This communication strategy is to communicate to share, for conversation, to strategize or to solve a challenge…but never to attack one another. Sarcasm and hurtful words feel like an attack. It breaks down the team and pushes you further away from your goal. Remember you are on the same team reaching for the same goal – a happy strong marriage.

4. Don’t tell your mate how they should feel.

Refrain from telling your mate how they should feel. That is a communication killer. Your mate’s feelings belong to them. They are permitted to feel however they do. This is not saying their feelings are lined up with the truth. It’s saying, this is their truth right now.

5. Practice patience in your conversations.

To me, patience is the peace and resilience to respond with care every time. It’s not putting up with something on the outside while you are screaming on the inside –  that’s called tolerance. Patient is a state of being. It’s a personal characteristic that needs to show up in your conversations within your marriage.

In marriage, good conversations have the potential to be great. Likewise, poor communication has the potential to be better. Like I said earlier, it took my husband and I a long time to learn this. The strategies that I’ve shared are meant to cut down on the time it takes to improve communication in your marriage relationship. They are not magic pills to make it all better, but good strategies that can help lead to a better marriage.

(BONUS: Click here to view our FREE Communication Training called “Stop Fussing & Fighting: 5 Keys to Successful Communication in Your Marriage!”)

BMWK – what are some great communications strategies that really work for you and your marriage?