The holidays can be one of the most exciting times of the year. After many months of being away from Grandma, you and your family will travel the three hours to her house for the best sweet potato pie this side of the world. Having had weeks to prepare to see your family, you just know that a good time will be had by all. Unless, of course, you and your husband, who just doesn’t get along with your favorite cousin NaeNae, can’t come to a meeting of the minds.

You have been looking forward with glee to the day you and NaeNae will see each other, giggle over old times like school girls, and leave the kids at the house while you go shopping for all things Christmas. But while you and NaeNae were busy making plans, Bae had plans of his own and he wasn’t trying to hear nothing about “that girl!” What should be a time of fun and peace is headed for disaster if something isn’t done, and fast!

Doing your due diligence could make for smooth sailing and good times for you and your spouse.

If this sounds remotely familiar, then you understand all of the mishaps that can come into play when you are trying to keep the peace over the holidays. No one wants to be on pins and needles around their spouse during the season “to be jolly,” especially when other family members are in the room. So, to take a preemptive strike and keep the peace with your spouse over the holidays, here are 5 things to start doing right now.

Admit There Could Be a Problem

The first step to any kind of recovery is to admit you’ve got a problem. Don’t underestimate the stress family and old surroundings can and has had on your relationship. If you face the issues head on before the holidays arrive, you’ll be better prepared to deal with the challenges as they come.

• Be open and honest about the struggles you have around each other’s family members.
• Keep it real about the changes you see in your spouse when they get around their kin
• Discuss potential pitfalls and the tension that comes with them when back in your hometown

Don’t Forget to Pray

Once the talking’s over, let the prayers begin. The holidays should be a spiritual experience so starting them on your knees is not a bad idea. There are so many emotions that rise up during this time of year so praying over them together ensures you are both on the same page.

Have a Secret Phrase

Regardless of how prepared you are, there are times when a person or a situation can still be too much. To keep yourself from losing it and wreaking havoc in the process, you and your spouse should have a custom made “SOS” signal and an escape route to go with it.

• “Babe, can you make some more of those killer pancakes tomorrow?”
• “Hon, I think I saw some oil leaking under the car.”
• “I sure hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow.”

Whatever your phrase, make sure you have each other’s back when it’s time to roll.

Set a Schedule that Works

This is probably one of the most sensitive areas and can cause the most frustration. He wants to play ball with the fellas. She wants to go shopping with the ladies. No one wants to be hemmed up by the kids.  By setting a schedule and working out who’s got next when it comes to the kids, you significantly reduce the chances of getting caught up in your feelings.

Set Each Other Up to Win

While it may be fun for you to spend hours on end with NaeNae, it’s torture for your husband who could never see eye to eye with her. Rather than insisting he have a better attitude towards her, help him find peace elsewhere while you and NaeNae do your thing. By having a plan in advance for situations you know make each of you uncomfortable, you are set up to win and allow peace to reign.

No one wants to deal with chaos during the holidays. But being unprepared to handle problems that might arise will cause just that. Doing your due diligence could make for smooth sailing and good times for you and your spouse. And, maybe, just maybe, your season will be jolly after all!

BMWK, are you ready to keep the peace this holiday season?