If this is a tradition, I will NOT be passing it down to my little black girl. Relaxer, perm, creamy crack, the good stuff and my straight fix are some of the terms said in the kitchen that I can remember as a child.
I don’t blame my mother for applying a substance not made to help my hair. I don’t blame myself for continuing to use the same chemical known to burn holes in my damn scalp, literally.
The marketing centered on relaxers did its job. Relaxer boxes boasted about providing shine and health many of us never got to see. So who is to blame for this “Tradition” we in the African American community have passed down from generation to generation? All of my blame is targeted towards ignorance; because it carries more weight than a dump truck full of Christmas trash.
There are signs that many black families ignore still in today’s times. Here are my 5 reasons why I have decided to not relax my unborn child’s hair:
#1. To Cut Down on Countless headaches
I never attributed my consistent headaches as a child to the amount of relaxers I was getting. However, all 3 of my Mother’s children suffered from migraines coming up. Relaxers are not directly proven to be the culprit, but chemicals such as Sodium Hydroxide are as harsh as they come, and are found in relaxers. #NoLye
#2. To avoid Scalp burns
That just seems like child abuse if you ask me. Now, before my mother beats me down for saying this, I want to reiterate I blame ignorance and not my mother for the after affects of this topical treatment. MY little Butterfly will not have to deal with this painful annoyance. #NoBurnsForBoo
#3. Lack of hair growth
Upon returning back to my natural hair, I outgrew my longest relaxed length by my 2nd year Anniversary. I would rather see my child’s full-length hair potential than to cut it short because I want to keep up this bootleg tradition. #NoStuntedGrowth
#4. To fight dry scalp
Because this chemical plays well with little to no moisture, my hair was always dry as a child. I also used more Blue Magic grease than was needed, to compensate for my dry reality. My child won’t even know Blue Magic comes in different colors. #NoBlueMagic
#5. To build my child’s confidence
This fake tradition of relaxing a child’s hair tends to scratch the surface of a larger problem. Mothers, who were not told they were beautiful just as they were made, resulted in passing down their lack of confidence to their children. I’m going to build a solid foundation by allowing my child to rest on nothing but her own abilities and not a topical solution for perfection. #NoLye2
Relaxers, you had a long run in the African-American community but just like the introduction of crack, you have done nothing but bring us down. Cheers to you and good riddance. #RelaxersAintLoyal
Have you recently gone natural and have children? Do you still relax your children’s hair and if so why? How do you think the Natural hair movement is impacting the children of tomorrow? Leave your comments below.
Diana Ramsey is the Head Curl in Charge at SistersWithBeauty, a natural hair website dedicating to teaching Butterflies the 6 Fundamentals of Home Hair Care. To learn more about SistersWithBeauty, be sure to visit www.sisterswithbeauty.com.
Phavor says
I am currently trying to grow my 15 year old daughters perm out. It’s very hard and I want to give in to the “creamy crack”. She’s had a perm for about 8 years. I regret that day but her hair wasn’t manageable. I didn’t know how to handle it. So….wish me luck!
TC says
Interesting point of view. Chemicals give parents an option and that’s all relaxers should represent. If applied correctly and maintained consistently, none of the things you mentioned in the article would actually occur. The natural vs. relaxed argument is tired and especially so when tied to “loving your heritage”. It’s a hairstyle, not a lifestyle and children should be taught to love themselves from the inside out.
Diana Ramsey says
Keep up the great work Butterfly. She’ll thank you in the long run. Be sure to check out https://www.sisterswithbeauty.com/ for all of your Home Hair Care needs. Thanks for reading.
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Diane says
Well my child has had a relaxer since she was six years old. She is twelve now and her hair is long strong and healthy. Maybe your mom didnt care for your hair as much as i care for my daughters. She loves her straight hair. We tried transitioning but that didnt work. Her hair was so nappy.So thats why we continue to relax it.
Rae says
I stopped relaxing my hair about 6 years ago and my oldest daughter’s shortly after that. I didn’t realize that the reason my husband had such a hard time with my natural hair, was that I had never presented the natural, true, me that God had created to my husband. I have two daughters; one has had relaxers from KG-5th grade, and the other has never had a relaxer, but we have straightened her hair with flat irons and hot combs. We all love our natural coils now. We realize it takes time to prep and style, but we will never go back to the crack. Headaches, yes. Dry scalp, yes. Misinformed self image; not any more!
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Mommyof1 says
I was natural for three years. I have since went back to relaxer and with proper application you should not suffer from scalp burns. A proper relaxer only removes 80% of the natural curl pattern. Relaxers were intended to relax the curl pattern, not sit on past the recommended time for straighter results. Natural hair can be dry just like relaxed hair. All hair can grow if maintained and properly cared for. At the end of the day, parents should do the best thing they feel for their children. No one cares for them but you.