“Absence makes the heart grow fonder!” That’s what they say and yet I always used to think, how can that be true, because don’t people have to be together to get and stay connected? Well the older I get, the more I realize that it’s definitely true … a little distance can do wonders for a relationship.
A little distance can do wonders for a relationship.
So many times we get so caught up in the routine of each other between waking up together, going to work, then going to bed together that we take for granted the “together” part. As spouses, we become desensitized to one another because we get so used to one another. While I know that spending time as a family together is important , I would argue that scheduling a little time apart is needed as well! Here are a few reasons why!
1. Because everyone needs time to themselves to recharge.
In a world where we are constantly on GO, a little time to recharge is needed by everyone. Wives need time to just take care of themselves and be women again, men need a little peace and quiet to recharge, moms need time to use the bathroom without kids walking in, and dads need time to have a beer without the toddler coming to knock it over. It’s just something about being alone that is refreshing and gives you more of the energy you need when going back home to the fam!
2. Because you’ve started ignoring the little things.
When you’re away, you get to miss that warm body lying next to you in the bed. You get to miss those little conversations at the coffee table. You get to miss him coming up from behind you in the kitchen with a hug, and her rubbing your head while you are lying on the couch. You get to miss all of the little things that become so routine that you don’t notice them as much anymore.
It’s all of those little daily interactions that make the companionship strong. But if we stop noticing them, then we stop acknowledging them. And that’s when we start feeling unacknowledged and unappreciated.
3. Because you always want what you can’t have.
It’s just human nature, we always want what we can’t have. And we tend to desire what is distant. I don’t know about you, but being away turns up the desire to be back home with my spouse and my family. And not being able to touch them, laugh with them, and play with them just doesn’t feel the same when I call them over Face-time. I want the real thing.
4. Because pursuing your spouse becomes a priority again
Isn’t it funny how when you’re away, all of the “I miss you,” “I can’t wait to see you again,” and other text messages and statements start to happen! You start to clear your mind and think about dating your spouse again about the fun times y’all have had together and the moments you might need to recreate. Tip: The key is to actually execute on those thoughts once back home instead of falling into the old habits again!
5. Because those sexy thoughts come back again
When you don’t have kids running around or work on your mind, you can get back to thinking about intimacy with your mate again. It starts with those sexy text messages about what you want to do to them when you get home….which can lead to a little late night “Face-time freakiness”! (LOL…I just created a term…we’re all grown here!!) And before you know it, you’ve built up so much sexual tension that it’s going to be “on and poppin'” when you arrive back home!
So, don’t bet mad if your spouse asks for a little space. Remember, your spouse needing space isn’t always reflection of them wanting to be away from you, but rather it could just be what they needed to get closer to you! And take if from me, it’s better to just give them the space before they get to the point where they absolutely NEED it.
DISCLAIMER: When I’m talking about space…I’m not talking about using it as a solution to fix problems in your relationship. Only intentional effort and work will do that. The space I am speaking of is the little time needed to recharge and get out of the daily routines in your relationship.