Her: “Why should he want to go hang out with his boys when he has me at home?”
Me: “It’s not a competition, it’s not you against them, it’s all about BALANCE”
Her: “Well when you get in a relationship then shouldn’t all of that hanging with the boys stuff stop?”
Me: “NOPE in fact that’s when he will need it more than ever…now let’s talk about why before you ruin this relationship!!!!!!”
Ok, we have all seen this thought process manifest before at some point with a friend of ours. You know that friend who has the girl who is always playing the “oh so your boys are more important than me” card. Or that friend who over compensates once they are in a relationship and shuts themselves off from the world & their friends and blames their disappearing act on their mate always “tripping.” Well here is a PSA…Sometimes your time away from your mate is just as important as your time together!
Here are 5 reasons your man needs MANTIME with his boys:
1) He needs an occasional shot of testosterone!
The truth is ladies is that the testosterone, the thing that originally attracted you to your man, like his strength, competitive nature, confidence, and protective nature are the things that he begins to lose the more he is up under you and all that estrogen! In other words that manly man that you fell in love with will slowly start to get soft on you!
2) He needs an outlet to do all the things he can’t do around you!
No, I’m not talking about anything concerning other women. I’m talking about his need to speak in certain tones and use certain language that he won’t feel comfortable using around you. He needs to be able to have heated debates about sports and music….and just trust me it’s not the same debating with you!!
3) He needs time to reminisce on the old days and stroke his own ego again!
Ladies I know you don’t want to think about your man thinking about other women, but remember he chose you. Although he chose you he still needs time to relive his glory days in his mind & with his boys. They might tell the same stories every time, but he leaves the conversation with his ego tank back on full and his confidence battery recharged! Trust me that will only make him want you more because in the course of that conversation he will come back to realize why he gave it all up just to be with you! You see you thought it made him want to go play in the streets, but really it made him appreciate you even more!
4) He needs to be around other men who have good relationships and marriages!
Believe it or not, our friends relationships influence us more than you think. Contrary to popular belief all men don’t sit around dogging their wives or girls all day. Remember I mentioned in my blog entitled “Why Proposing Is One of The Manliest Things A Man Can Do,” that for a man choosing to commit or get married is a very tough decision. When he is with his boys many times he is getting that confirmation he needs or either dropping knowledge on his boys about some of the good things, which indirectly gives him that confirmation. He will leave excited to come home to you.
5) He needs time to miss you & you need time to miss him!
Yes ladies, we know y’all are great and all, but y’all are even better when we have he some time away from you. That space helps us build up some anticipation and it just does something to us and builds up our hormones. The reality is that it breaks up the routine and gives that “new” feeling again! Your man will come home being sweet as he can be and won’t be able to wait to get his hands on you!
My point is that giving your man time to be with his boys without you making it a competition for attention is extremely important for you and for him! Instead of making it hard for him to leave just make sure to make it a pleasure for him to come home!!
BMWK Fam: Why do you think so many couples refuse to give their mates the appropriate space?