When I got married, I promised to love, honor, and respect my husband. It was an easy promise to make because I was marrying a man I knew for many years and loved deeply. I trusted him (and still do), and he has never given me reason to distrust him (he still hasn’t). He promised the same to me, and we began creating a life together.

Now, six years after our marriage, I can comfortably say that we are still loving, honoring and respecting one another. But if I can be real with you, I don’t think that is the secret to making our marriage work. For me, the secret is the fact that I love, honor and respect myself. That’s right—myself. Listen, I just don’t see how I can go around expecting someone to treat me like some queen when I don’t even treat myself that way.

And you know what I have come to realize? The better I treat myself, the better this marriage gets. It’s true. I show myself more love, I honor myself in every way, and I respect myself before making any decision, and our marriage is just getting stronger. It’s a beautiful thing, really. Of course this doesn’t mean that I don’t need him because I’ve got this. Not at all. Rather, it means that I deeply appreciate what he gives me because I know how much work goes into giving it to myself.

So ask yourself, are you committed to loving, honoring, and respecting yourself? Not sure? It’s all good. Here are a few signs that maybe you’ve forgotten how.

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