“I’m too good to you. I’m way too good to you and you take my love for granted. I just don’t understand it!” So you know I was on a plane and listening to Drake’s song “Too Good,” and as soon as I heard this part of the chorus, it hit me. Many of us are in relationships and marriages, and we feel like we have an ungrateful spouse. We are tired of our mate taking us for granted and wonder why they are so clueless.
5 Signs You Might Be an Ungrateful Spouse
In this article:
- You don’t show appreciation.
- There is no reciprocation of affection.
- You treat your spouse like a roommate.
- Everyone else is a priority.
- Sexual relations are a thing of the past…almost.
If you are the other spouse in a relationship, some of these things may sound foreign to you. However, sometimes things become so routine that you probably aren’t even conscious of all the unappreciative and selfish things you do. Do you think you are guilty of this behavior? Take a look and see if you are an ungrateful spouse.
1) You never say “thank you” or show appreciation
If you step back and exit out of the husband, wife, or spouse mindset and just look at it from a human mindset, you will realize your mate probably does A LOT of things for you. Even some of the routine things done for you (whether picking up your shoes or cooking family dinner) need acknowledgment sometimes. Most people just want to feel acknowledged and appreciated, and your mate is no different. The power of a heartfelt “thank you” or “I appreciate you” goes a long way.
2) You don’t reciprocate efforts
You constantly ask your mate to do things for you and to take your feelings into consideration, but do you do the same if they ask that of you? They always find a reason to say “YES” or to support you but you always find a way to make excuses about why you can’t serve them. What’s up with that?! Ask yourself, “what would my spouse do?” If he or she would do anything for you, why, then, are you making excuses?
3) You don’t “see” them anymore
It’s been months without compliments, special just-because things, passionate kisses, hugs or things of that nature. Now, you treat your lover like a roommate instead of the man or woman you once couldn’t get enough of. This isn’t cool! When you become an ungrateful spouse, you can miss the treasure right in front of you. So, see your mate through a new lens, one that’s tinted with affection.
4) You make everything and everyone else a priority
Why is it that you can find time for your family, your friends, the kids, your job, hobbies and everything else, but you can’t find time for the one you say you love most? Yes, sometimes this happens when we get comfortable in our relationships. But it may be time to reprioritize! Try to make sure “the one” in your life gets the No.1 place on your priority list.
5) You think sex is only for special occasions
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: sex and intimacy are huge parts of a couple staying connected. So you can’t ration sex out like it’s water in the desert. You can’t only do it when you “feel” like it because you’re now carelessly disregarding the moments when your partner “feels” like it. Your mate wants to feel wanted and desired, and if that only happens on birthdays, anniversaries or Valentine’s Day, then it’s time to step it up in the lovin’ department! You can’t neglect this area of the relationship.
Sometimes we aren’t doing it purposely, but if we aren’t conscious, our mates will feel taken for granted. Check in early and often so that you don’t head down that path!
BMWK Fam, what are some other reasons someone would feel taken for granted?
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Editor’s Note: BMWK originally published this post on June 7, 2016. We have updated it for quality and relevancy.