Awkward truth moment: The longer you’re in a relationship or marriage, the more time you’ve had to get on each other’s nerves. Also, the more time you’ve had to go through seasons and conflict and emotional roller coasters.
Sometimes you get tired; sometimes you don’t feel like it; sometimes you want to say “screw it!” and go take a long, perfect nap…alone. Sometimes you just don’t feel like being nice, loving, thoughtful, sexy or, hell, even nice to your mate.
My purpose for writing this blog though is to help you push the sullen attitude of “I don’t wanna and you can’t make me” away and challenge you to DO IT ANYWAY! Here are a few things that you should do even if you don’t feel like it.
1. When you don’t feel like having sex!
I put this first because it is a BIG one in long-term relationships. Many times, we just don’t FEEL like having sex. You start thinking about the time it takes for foreplay, along with the schedule you have for tomorrow, along with the energy it takes to make it good, plus the fact the kids aren’t sleep yet and you just talk yourself out of sex altogether.
It’s in many of these moments that you should just DO IT ANYWAY! If you keep waiting on the perfect timing, then you probably won’t have sex very often. Sometimes, it’s the loving ACTIONS that produce the loving FEELINGS! Trust me, once you start and those endorphins begin to flow, your body will thank you!
2. When you don’t feel like communicating!
Many times in relationships, we would just rather ignore our issues than to take the effort to communicate about them. But, we all know this produces resentment and frustration, and it usually all comes out at one time in a big blow up.
You have to talk about your issues and come to solutions sooner than later, so with that said, even when you don’t feel like talking…DO IT ANYWAY!
3. When you don’t feel like going on dates!
I know by the end of the week you’re tired and just want to sleep or lay down, but dates with our spouses keep us courting each other, brings back old memories and feelings and keeps us close.
I often dread certain dates, but I’ve never left one feeling worse, if anything, I feel closer and more engaged with my wife. Even when you don’t feel like “date night” or doing special things with your loved one…DO IT ANYWAY!
4. When you don’t feel like playing with the kids!
Let’s be honest…kids take a lot of work and need a lot of attention. Sometimes, you just don’t feel like playing that game, or going outside, or reading that book with them.
Deep down, though, we know that these are the moments the little ones live for and the things they will remember most. It’s the experiences we have with them that create the bonds, so even when you don’t feel like doing stuff with your kids…DO IT ANYWAY!
5. When you don’t feel like being kind!
Life can weigh on you, and life gets hard. And sometimes the first thing to suffer is our attitude. Our attitude becomes negative, and it spreads to everyone else in our lives. We get mean, snappy and bitter, and sometimes just plain old nasty!
It’s no surprise that our spouse feels it and so does everyone else in our households. In these moments, you must find ways to do kind things for the people you love, and you will see your attitude change. In other words, even when you really feel like the wicked witch at heart, and the last thing you want is to be nice, DO IT ANYWAY!
Our lives are so much deeper than the feelings we have at a particular moment. It’s in moments that feelings waver that we must focus on actions. Loving ACTIONS produce loving FEELINGS so when in doubt…DO IT ANYWAY!
BMWK, what other things do couples often want to resist but they should do it anyway?