2. Don’t believe that preexisting issues will just resolve themselves
For some reason people seem to think that getting married fixes things, but it doesn’t. If you have an unresolved issue hanging over your heads before the marriage, that issue will still be hanging right above your heads after the marriage. Even if it’s a difficult issue to discuss and you are scared of what it might do to your relationship, address it before you say, “I do.” You will be happy you did.
3. Address any pressing issues you never brought up
Has something been bugging you for months, maybe even years, and you just haven’t found a way to bring it up? Bring it up NOW. Don’t wait until after the marriage. Your marriage has a greater chance of succeeding if you just lay all your cards out on the table and are as candid as you can be with your soon-to-be spouse about what’s on your mind. Honesty is the healthiest policy.
4. Go to premarital counseling
Many churches offer premarital counseling, or you can even contact a licensed psychologist, counselor, or therapist to provide premarital therapy before you jump the broom. And going doesn’t mean you have major problems in your relationship. It simply means you are committed to developing the necessary skills to help you have a happy, healthy, long-lasting marriage.
5. Accept the fact that your partner won’t change
Do not go into your marriage believing that you will change the person you married in anyway. Sure, marriage is about compromise so small changes may naturally occur along the way. But to start this thing off right, be clear on who you are getting because that may very well be who you always get. If you aren’t okay with that take a step back and give things some thought.
BMWK family, what are your tips for couples hoping to start their marriage off right?
I will say this as a person who married and thought things would change when I say I Do go to premarital counseling! Be honest with any and all concerns or questions because it will come back to bite you in the A**. I’m sitting here thinking why did I get married as I’m tired of the emotional and verbal abuse. If you’re not honestly happy now it will not change when you say I Do. You may go through some nice moments but in the long run you will regret it. Do the hard work before I Do’s then after the I Do’s you will have a strong foundation to stand in your marriage that will help through the challenging times. From career, money, children, in laws to how many times can cousin Pookie come crash at your place. All these things and more can break or make your marriage. My in law trips out on his girlfriend when the tissue isn’t put on the tissue roller a certain way. Really? You better go somewhere with that mess!