By: Dwayna Clark

My beautiful twin sister asked me to be the maid of honor for her big day and I was more than happy to take on the role. After all was said and done, I understand why being chosen as the maid of honor is a big deal.

This role takes on a huge responsibility and can be a stressful experience.

The maid of honor has many duties which consist of and taking on the problems of the bride to keep her stress free, helping assist with the planning of the wedding, showers/parties and shopping for the bridesmaid dresses.These tasks were a bit of a challenge for me at times which has led me to come up with 5 ways to choose the perfect bridesmaids.

 1. Think long and hard about the financial and time commitment you are requesting.

It is very important to think about the life situations of all your friends and/or family members. Many life challenges may prohibit a person from being able to fully commit to your big day. Nothing is worse than choosing someone to be your bridesmaid and they are not fully committed to making your day a priority in their life.

Related: The Proverbs 31 Woman of 2015 – How do you measure up?

This consideration should apply to everyone (family members, siblings and friends). If they cannot afford to be a bridesmaid, simply don’t give them the title! They can still be included in other activities such as planning or taking on other tasks that do not require extra expenditures.  Bridesmaids must buy a dress, shoes, and contribute to certain other costs.

I am not saying totally forget about someone just because they are having financial difficulties; but, money is a huge factor in a wedding.This position requires time and effort. Bridesmaids must put in work to help make the bride’s day go as smoothly as possible.

2. Before you ask, make sure that you research the roles of bridesmaids

Don’t ask someone just because they are your “friend”. Brides make sure you choose someone who is dependable and reliable. With all the effort it takes to plan a wedding, you must have bridesmaids who are on their p’s and q’s throughout the whole process.

Yes, I said the whole process! This includes planning and executing. You cannot have a bridesmaid whom you cannot depend on.

3. If you want less stress, deal with your bridesmaids in a timely fashion.

This is very important! Weddings take so much time and effort. Choosing bridesmaids at the last minute is not a bright idea, especially when dealing with a larger bridal party. Take time to plan and execute bridal duties in advance.

Let your bridesmaids know what you need of them when choosing them for this role. Give your brides the 411 on parties, dresses, hairstyles, and jewelry in a timely fashion.

4. Set realistic expectations for your bridesmaids

Brides, I know this is your big day but you must set realistic expectations for the woman you choose as bridesmaids. Don’t ask your bridesmaids to walk on water. Make your wants and demands realistic.

If you choose a bridesmaid and know they were having financial problems or always makes excuses when it comes to money, do not think just because it’s your wedding day they will automatically turn over a new leaf.

5. Think twice about asking “drama-queens”

No one wants to be in a wedding that has bridesmaids from hell. Your bridesmaids should want to make the experience as fun as possible by planning outings, parties, bridal showers and spa days.

Making the experience as fun as possible will only put less stress on the bride. Having “party poopers” as bridesmaids will only make you regret ever choosing them in the first place. The journey leading up to your wedding should be as enjoyable as possible. Therefore, you must pick bridesmaids who are fun to be around and have enjoyable personalities.

BMWK, what other dos and don’ts should brides be aware of when choosing their bridesmaids?