Every marriage has challenges, and even the happiest couples get on each other’s nerves sometimes. What tends to strengthen a relationship and make it last is willingness, on both parts, to work through the challenges and find a solution that both parties can be at peace with.
Sometimes, though, people don’t work through the challenges. In any relationship, it is pretty common for minor issues to get swept under the rug. Maybe you tell yourself, “it’s not that serious,” or maybe you think the issue will just resolve itself. Whatever the case may be, the truth is that even the small issues can cause a lot of damage. When small issues are not managed, they can snowball into something much bigger, that can damage a relationship more than anyone expects.
Look out for these little things that you should address in your marriage in an effort to prevent them from turning into bigger problems.
- Not sharing and compromising when it comes to chores – The way we manage (or don’t manage) chores is often a reflection of how we grew up. However, no matter how things were in your home as a child, you should share household responsibilities with your spouse and you have to be willing to compromise. Just because something isn’t done your way, doesn’t mean it’s the wrong way.
- Forgetting to always say thank you and please – These are simple words that go a very long way. Try to say them more often.
- Not asking the other person what they want to eat, do, etc. – Even if they don’t complain, no one wants to only do what you want to do. Try doing what they want to do, even if it’s not your first (or second, or third…) choice.
- Not showing appreciation – A flower, a piece of chocolate, a card, a DVD of a movie that your partner really wants to see – whatever it is, take a moment to think of something that will show them how much you appreciate them.
- Failing to provide encouragement – You should be your spouse’s cheerleader. Encourage them. Life can be hard, and it’s only harder when it seems like our personal cheerleader has stopped cheering for us.
- Not greeting each other with kindness and affection – Whether it’s a kiss, a hug, or something else that shows affection, getting caught up in the day-to-day madness and failing to acknowledge each other when you come and go can lead to trouble.
- Being so consumed with your job that you don’t check in during work hours – Most of us have to work to pay the bills, and many of us have very demanding jobs. Even with that, still take time to make a quick call, send an email, or drop a text message to check in with your spouse. Knowing that you are thinking about them, in the midst of the madness, can go such a long way.
BMWK – How do you prevent the aforementioned things from turning into big problems in your marriage? Can you think of additional little things, that if not checked, could turn into big problems in your marriage?
glendora says
How can you save a marriage when your spouse don’t care for your kids. Or when they come into some money from a accident and do not offer you one red penny but you was the one who took care of them what do you do.
LadyAMH says
Glendora, I would communicate this to my spouse. Are these his kids as well? If they are his stepkids so they have a good relationship? Does he feel like the kids are misbehaving, disrespectful? There is more than meets this eye with this. Do you think that since he has gotten the money, he is planning on leaving?
Martine Foreman says
Glendora, I am so sorry about the challenges you are facing in your marriage. Have you tried counseling, either through your church or through a licensed therapist in your state? I don’t know the specifics of your situation, but I do believe that you have to exhaust all methods to save your marriage before you can say it can’t be saved. Be encouraged. I am wishing you the best.
Debby says
pray,fast,thank and sing ’cause you give all your worries to God.if your spouse doesn’t listen,write him a letter,don’t complain,tell him how you feel and praise him for the good he used to do.goodluck sister