With Thanksgiving and Christmas rapidly approaching, many of us are thinking about planning meals, coordinating family visits, and buying gifts. There is no question that the most wonderful time of the year can leave us feeling busy and depleted.

But what often strips us of our energy the most isn’t the long to-do list, or standing in the kitchen all day; it’s the family drama.

Maybe there are debates about where the holidays should be spent, or maybe things go south once everyone unites. Either way, it can turn a festive time into one that makes you want to crawl under your covers and hide.

So how do you enjoy the holidays without having to deal with any family drama? Without question, it can be difficult, but it isn’t impossible.

With a few important (and sometimes tough) decisions, you can have a holiday season that lets you fill up with all the goodness life has to offer while keeping the side of drama where it belongs—way off to the side.

Here are 7 tips to help make the rest of your year joyous and drama-free.

Get on the same page with your spouse

Nothing feeds into family drama more than not being on the same page as your spouse. You both have to communicate and come to a clear understanding about what you want your holiday season to look like, where you will spend it, and what you just aren’t willing to compromise on.

Related: 5 great games to play over the holidays with your family

Once the rest of the family realizes that you are a united front, it becomes a lot easier to let everyone know where you stand on issues and what you will and will not do this season.

Don’t engage in the drama

This is much easier said than done, but it’s the best piece of advice I can give. DO NOT engage in the drama. Ignore it, walk away, nod and smile, but don’t get caught up in it. You have better things to do.

When you have a family member who thrives off of drama, they will try their best to suck you into it. Don’t let it happen. You have control over how you react to everything that happens in your space. Choose your peace of mind and make this the year that you just don’t bother with the foolishness.

Don’t feel obligated to do anything

How did the holidays become this time of the year when we do so much because we feel obligated? Talk about unfair. Don’t feel obligated to go where you just don’t want to go, or spend what you just don’t have.

There is nothing joyous about doing that. During the holiday season, you should be moved to do things because God placed it in your heart. If your heart just doesn’t want to do anything, dig deeper to determine why you feel that way because it may be stress or depression.

Practice self-care

Stress lends itself to a whole lot of drama. When you are in a rested and peaceful place, you are a lot less likely to become a part of the drama, or let it bother you very much. A bit of self-care throughout the season puts you in a pleasant mood and stops the madness from getting on your last nerve.

Set clear boundaries

You and your spouse run your home—no one else. Please don’t let family members overstep their boundaries time and time again. The more you allow it, the more it happens.

Establish your boundaries, make them known, and be okay with the fact that some people just won’t like it.

Come up with an exit plan

Have a few family events that you just have to attend? I understand. But remember, showing your face does not mean getting caught up in hours of family drama.

Related: For Step families, here are 10 ways to ensure you have a happy holiday season

Show up with a positive attitude and be ready to have a good time. If things go south, make sure you have a plan to exit the situation smoothly. Even if a little white lie is required, it’s better than dealing with drama all night.

Say NO as much as you can

I love the word no. Get comfortable with saying it, and say it as often as you need to. Trying to please everyone only leads to frustration and anger, and that will eventually lead to some drama.

It’s okay to say no if you have to. Say it with love and grace, but don’t apologize for it. You have the right to say no and keep it moving.

BMWK family, how do you plan to make your holiday season drama-free?