Everybody knows marriage is difficult, particularly if you don’t put the time and effort into building a strong foundation. It gets easier with time, but during the process of growing into mature, selfless spouses, marriage requires a will to fight for the union. Marriage is not for the weak-minded or soft-hearted. Marriage is for warriors. But being a woman warrior can be especially challenging if you don’t know how to fight.
Woman Warrior: 10 Ways You Should Fight for Your Marriage
In this article:
To be a warrior-wife you must be willing to go to war for your marriage. This doesn’t mean you are paranoid about something going wrong. What it means is that you take proactive steps to strengthen the marriage bond and protect your family from negative influences. As a woman warrior, if and when trouble comes, your marriage will withstand hard times.
Here are 10 ways I believe wives can be warriors for their marriages and families.
The Woman Warrior is never alone
1.A prayer warrior: a wife who knows the power of prayer. She intercedes for her husband and children. Her walk with God isn’t based on praying only when things are bad; she prays in good times and in bad times. When her husband needs prayer, he asks his wife because he knows she has a deep relationship with God. Her prayers soothe and comfort her family. They rebuke evil and cast out negativity. They declare goodness and favor in their lives. Not only does she pray, but she also believes what she prays.
2.A worship warrior: a wife who is not afraid to praise and worship God. She knows where her help comes from, and she expresses her gratefulness wherever and whenever the Spirit moves her. “Thank you, Lord,” is her praise song.
3. A word warrior: a wife who uses her words to speak life and wisdom to her husband and children. She knows how to encourage herself and her family in the Lord. Her words heal, comfort, and correct with love. On the other hand, she doesn’t hesitate to speak in defense of her family when others try to harm them. She knows her tongue is a mighty weapon, so she uses it wisely.
4. A purpose-driven warrior: a wife who knows that God has a purpose for her marriage. She’s willing to fight for it when others say she should give up. She partners with her husband to achieve their marriage and family goals. Her motto is “Let’s do this!”
The Woman Warrior takes care of the family
5. A mother-warrior: A wife who doesn’t play when it comes to her children. She teaches them about God, about respect for themselves, and about the importance of family. A mother-warrior believes her role as a mother is a divine responsibility and that God will hold her accountable for how she rears her children. As such, she does whatever it takes to make sure her children feel safe and loved; are fed and clothed; and are educated properly.
6. A household warrior: a wife who protects the peace and sanctity of the home. She doesn’t allow negativity to infiltrate the home environment because she knows the home should be the safest place in the world for her family.
7. A sexual warrior: a wife who isn’t afraid to enjoy physical intimacy with her husband. She initiates sex and enjoys pleasing her husband. When the love life goes lacking or gets monotonous, she steps up to re-energize things.
8. A financial warrior: a wife who can take a few dollars and make a meal that tastes like a million bucks. She doesn’t complain about what the family doesn’t have; instead, she knows how to make do with they do have. She plans for rainy days and helps her husband provide for the family.
The Spirit of the Woman Warrior
9. A discernment warrior: a wife with a sixth sense to see and feel what’s good and what’s bad for the marriage. Because she prays regularly and hears from God, she can sense when someone has malicious intentions toward her family or when someone is genuine friend.
10. A confidence warrior: a wife who makes her man feel like he can do anything he sets his mind to. She is a constant encourager who believes in her husband when he doesn’t believe in himself.
I want to encourage you to embrace the warrior inside of you. As wives and future-wives, we don’t have to accept whatever life throws at us. God made us in His image, which means we have the power to create the marriages and lives we deserve. Every woman has a warrior on the inside of her. That’s why “a man who finds a wife finds a treasure and has favor with the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). That treasure is his warrior-wife who’s not afraid to fight for their love.
BMWK family, feel free to add to the list. What other ways are wives warriors?
Up Next: 4 Ways to Protect Your Husband Because He Needs it Too
Editor’s Note – This post was originally published on February 16, 2012, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.
This article shows just how much work it requires from a wife in terms of keeping the family together. What an awesome breakdown, steps that I truly have a lot of growth to achieve. I am a work in progress. Thank you.
Lawanda. We grow into them. Some seasons require more of one area than the other. The point is not to be perfect but to fight.
THANK YOU!!!
You are welcome.
This is awesome. Thank you sooo much!
You are welcome.
Much is definitely required of a wife, perhaps that’s why I’ve failed at it. Great article though.
Thanks.
Thanks Dr. Michelle,
This is really deep. I read each characteristic carefully and noticed that I probably only maintain 5 of these consistently. You have really challenged me. I plan on working on all fronts of this the best way that I can. Not to deflect responsibility but I am curious to see what the husband list would look like…Thanks for your diligence.
Hi Hope. I thought about that too. I might get hubby to help with that one. Be on the lookout next week.
Marriage definitely is not for the weak! Marriage is also not for the lazy because it requires much work. The hardest thing for a lot of women to do is take/make time for herself. This is extremely important in marriage because often, the woman wears many hats…i.e. wife, mother, friend, professional woman, servant in ministry. It is imperative that we maintain order; God first, husband next, children third, THEN everything else as God directs. Juggling all these things can wreak a lot of havoc; nevertheless, after serving God, marriage is our first ministry!
It is a lotto juggle Mrs. Jones that’s why we must have God’s help. Self-care too. Thanks for the reminder.
Beautifully encouraging words. Its so easy to get lost in what you are suppose to be about as a wife, especially when you have to face challenges, but thanks for reminding me I am a warrior. I need to be proactive and reactive. Oh how we need the Holy Spirit in our personal lives!
Me too Karis. Without the Holy Spirit I would fail miserably.
I feel that it was meant for me to read this at this very moment and God made sure of it. Thank you so much. My husband and i will be married two years this Saturday and i’ll just say marriage is a lot of work especially when you add in 2 toddlers and a pre-teen. We know what we want and that is to be together but we are both feeling so drained & strained, it’s like a never ending battle. I will continue to pray my way through this storm. I’m not sure if what we’re going through is normal since we don’t really have any married friends. I’m desperate for some encouragement and i believe i just received some from your post. Thank you again!
You are welcome. Hang in there. Like I said to Lawanda. Know the season you are in. Some seasons require a different warrior than the other ones. Sounds like you all are on the same team and are working together. That’s the main thing. We all get overwhelmed, even after 16 years. But this too shall pass if you work as a team to get through it.
Thanks Dr. Michelle,
Your article is on point. I can really identify with the last one: “purpose-driven warrior” No matter what is looks like God is in control. Some say giving up is the action to take, but God did not give up on me. When God puts people together and it falls apart, He can and does put it back together. This happens when the two who shall become one, first become one with God the Father and know that He is God. When this happens, the purpose of the couple become clearer, still muddy:), but clearer. I am a purpose- warrior wife. God is at work in my life. May God continue to bless you.
Ilka
I love this! You broke this down, challenging us to step up and handle our wife business. Great job, Dr. Michelle.
It’s definitely a challenge, but marriage wouldn’t be worth it if it was easy! Thanks for your constant support.
I like this. Thanks for the good advice
You are welcome.
This is a GREAT article! I’m in a quandry though…how can I share this w/my wife (who I am separated from) w/o her getting offended? I say offended because it reflects so much effort on the wife’s part, I don’t want her to believe I’m doing anything but sharing…
Maybe you could present it like this: I want to share this with you because when I read this article I realized you are a ________ warrior and I want to thank you. Be ready to give her examples of how she is doing things right in your marriage. She will hopefully read the entire article and get something from it. Good luck!!! Prayers going up for you!
Glad you liked it David. Possibly start with how YOU plan to be a warrior-husband and then share the warrior-wife post. There’s a man’s side to this, too. But it sounds like you know this. There is a warrior in both of you. Fight for it!
David I will send this website 2 your wife. I send this 2 a lot of people who believes in marriage. This site has helped me a lot. I will pray 4 u and your wife 2 get back 2gather.
Wow…. thank u for this.
One of the reason why I like this blog/website is that everything concerning marriage reinforces my views and principles and how I want to be as a WIFE. It reminds me and encourages me that my work and effort that am making now is not in vain and will not be in vain but it will count. I am so grateful am already walking in these steps mentioned above and I pray I will continue to learn more and do more and be MORE.
GOD IS AWESOME….. HE REALLY IS..
THANKS FOR SHARING.
How refreshing to see these comments. I loved, loved, loved this article! It is inspiring to see other women go to war for their marriages – – not just for their husbands – – but for their marriages and families. So many women get caught up into allowing their friends to run their marriages, making suggestions such as…”Girl, you need to tell his a**…”, and providing them with ill-advised directions that go completely against the grain of what is truly best for their marriage and family and the covenants they were sworn to uphold. Keeping in company with like-minded women who share the same values as I and staying away from those who are just the opposite, I am sure, has contributed greatly to the love and substance that I believe I share with my husband.
Thanks for this. I agree. We should stay away from people who spew negativity into our marriages.
I know that’s right, Sister!! LOL Love it!
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.
This is an awesome article!
I love everything about this site,books just strong black women going far and beyond…Thanks!!!!!
Glad you liked it. Thanks for reading.
This article was everything that I needed and confirmation that I am on the right track. Thank you 🙂
That’s wonderful.
I’m not married but really wondering if one person can sustain the relationship if the spouse has checked out. I have several friends who have walked away because their husbands left mentally long beforte.
It takes two, for sure. We must do our part, regardless. In my opinion.
I hope you don’t mind me reposting on my blog site. This is totally on point and much needed in today’s world where marriage is looked at as a means of convenience or excuse to be sexually active. I am reading Sacred Marriages by Gary Thomas. Good read! Thanks for the encouragment!
Not at all.
Love it!!!! I ‘ve always knew marriage is a work in progress. This just help put alot of things in perspective. A piece of godly advice I plan to use and share with others. Thank you….
Excellent article! You pretty much covered all the basics. I WOULD add Self care as well. After 16 years of marriage, I finally figured out that I had to take the time out to minister to MYSELF to stay refreshed and ready to serve and defend my family. The ULTIMATE care is when you and your spouse are so tuned in to each other that you can sense when the other needs that moment to break away to refresh . . . and you provide and allow for that time to happen! It was a POTENT upgrade to our marriage when my husband and I learned how to do this for one another. Now it just feels good to let the other one have some “vacation from life” time. It is a form of Love.
Good suggestion!
I love this page. It gives me so much insight on my marriage.
I have been praying for others around me because it seems that a lot of our friends marriages are ending. I feel that they are giving up way too easily. I know that my marriage is strong, but thank you for reminding me that I shoud be praying continuously for the strength of my own. This artical is awesome.
As a woman who is not yet married I am inspired to go into my relationship with these expectations in order that I can understand the work required for marriage. I know that God is the most important ingredient to making anything in my life work. Thanks so much for the great advice and I too look forward to reading about with the husbands warrior looks like.
Awesome Article!
So helpful and on time!
Printing it and keeping it with me 🙂
Has the Husband Warrior article been posted yet?
This article was right on time. Ive been battling with myself for strength to keep fighting for my marriage. There are only a few points I use consistently and gives others i didnt consider. I plan to use all the points mentioned to keep fighting. Its difficult when it seems im the only one fighting.
Love this! It’s exactly what I needed
Many times I run across articles titled like this that miss the mark, this is one of few occassions where it hits the mark totall… WORDS mean everything in a relationship… Eph. 4:29, Matt. 12:36 & Prov. 18:20-21 and John 17:17-21 is just an introduction to the importance of words in GOD’S point of view.
Bro. Paul Williams – Minister of Metro East church of Christ
http://www.metroeastcoc.org
Love this!! Very encouraging and true Thank you for the reminder.
Awesome! Your messages are on point ! Thanks for your commitment to strengthen marriages.
THANKS FOR SHARING THIS POWERFUL WORDS OF WISDOM , Woment of God do you have a book? I would like to purchase a copy
Certainly, it’s all in your hands. A relationship does go through bad times and asks for sacrifices and this when either of you plays a part. You have to accept the fact that you are in it together. You gotta fight for it.