Over the weekend I had the opportunity to share some words of wisdom and advice to girls age 12-20 about not forcing love, friendships and relationships. The main takeaway was in the form of a Mad Libs activity. I let the girls fill out the first page, which asked for any noun, adjective, name, etc. that came to their minds. The second page, which most didn’t look at, was the story when the corresponding words would be plugged in.

Some girls jumped ahead of my instructions, peeped at the second page, and started erasing their words on the first page. They saw that the second page was supposed to be read as a funny “love letter” to an imaginary guy, but some girls wanted to make their words make sense to them. Did I mention that this was supposed to be a Mad Lib? It’s not supposed to make sense because you don’t know what to expect. After the activity was over, we read some of the letters and shared some laughs at the responses. What I explained to the girls was that the purpose of the exercise was to let them know that each of them has a story in life that they cannot control every single outcome. I asked them what they could control and some said their behavior or reactions, and we went forward with the lesson.

There were adults in the room as well, and as usual, I ended up ministering to myself on this lesson. I went through dating and relationships being controlled by my emotions and thus trying to control what would happen next in the relationship or dating season. What I’ve learned about love is that it’s something you don’t have to control because love is freedom, intended to flow freely in and out of you. If you try to control love you’ll risk limiting its capabilities and progress. You are in control of your decisions that you make every day, which ironically, includes releasing control to God regarding everything in your life.

I know for some of us, it may be a challenge at times to keep our hands off the progress of a relationship, seeking a partner, etc., but as singles, controlling the story is not our priority. God is the “author and finisher of our faith,” and He has a plan for you already laid out, so you must remind yourself to let go of the pen trying to scribble over the life and love story that God’s already established. He knows your end already—chill! He can and will turn every error you’ve made in your past turn out for your good, His glory, and for a pretty amazing story.

I go through this control mode every now and then, but that’s a reminder for me to pray and refocus. My purpose in life is not to figure out every little detail and outcome in my life. It’s not to erase or scribble over my past mistakes and try to make things “make sense” for the chance at a better outcome. My objective is to trust the Lord to provide everything that I will need, when its time for me to have it, which includes my future spouse and everything else after that.

BMWK fam, do you admit to having some control issues regarding your love story? After listening to others give their testimonies on trying to control their love story and failing miserably, I think I’d better keep the pen for Mad Lib stories and trust God as I live out the story He’s already written for me.