By Astrid L. Malone

I once heard someone say, “Peace and war begin at home.” This rings true especially when it comes to parenting and the way one raises their child. Some parents use corporal punishment to raise their children while others choose more positive approaches such as logical consequences or displaying respect and love. Whichever, parenting style one chooses, it’s important to occasionally look within at the role they are playing in their child’s life.

Recently, a video posted in 2013 resurfaced of a father scolding and beating his two teenaged daughters with an electric extension cord, after he apparently walked in on the girls recording themselves twerking. The 30 second video showed him repeatedly hitting his daughters to perhaps enforce his rules and invalidate their behavior.

While everyone has a right to their own opinion and to even challenge the reasoning behind a situation such as this, I think it’s important to take a further look and ask: What could have possibly been done differently in these girls’ earlier stages of development to prevent this behavior and this reaction from their father? Is it possible that these girls’ were looking for positive reinforcement from boys? Is it possible that earlier in life they didn’t receive positive reinforcement from their father? (Example: telling them they are beautiful) If they did– would they have been trying so hard to get it elsewhere?

I pose these question because on numerous occasions, I have scrolled through my social media timelines and seen young girls singing and dancing their little hearts out for the camera. From what it appears, these girls are being celebrated at such a young age for their dancing abilities despite how it may be perceived. Although, the real question is, who is condoning this behavior? Naturally, we can assume that it is the person behind the lens or better yet the people who are liking or sharing the videos.

So, why is this behavior condoned at a young age but then considered too grown or fast behavior in their teenage years?

You see we have very similar cases here, where one is vilified and one is celebrated. It’s easy to blame society, social media, or everything on the outside. However, building a solid foundation for a child to develop in is the parents’ responsibility. In order to foster the development of a child, I believe some of the key ingredients should include love, affection, respect, communication, nourishment, support and a healthy environment to flourish in.

While keeping in mind that home is where peace and war begin, I think it’s important for parents to do a self-evaluation and ask questions suited to the dynamics of their home like:

• How am I parenting my child?
• Have I developed a relationship with my child where they can confide in me or does my child run from me out of fear of being rejected?

I believe every parents should look within and recognize that they play a vital role in the development of their child.

BMWK, How are you raising your child? 

 

Astrid L. Malone is a freelance writer, lifestyle blogger, and native New Yorker. Her written works include topics ranging from personal development, relationships, and fashion. She is currently pursuing her MBA and recently was inducted into the National Honor Society of Leadership and Success. You may connect with her by visiting www.therealastridmalone.com.