I love the fact that we seem more proud of black marriage than we have in a long time. I am also grateful that our President and First Lady are making black love look so damn good.

The negative views on marriage and the rising out of wedlock childbirth rates have been concerning for a while.

However, I am optimistic.

I know that the mindset is shifting and there are more positive images emerging. The number of people and organizations who care about the state of our unions is rising and I love it!

Of course, there is still more work to be done and each of us has a role to play. Encouraging the couples around us and speaking more positively about black marriage is a start.

In addition, we must begin to debunk many of the negative ideas our communities have about marriage. Changing the dialogue, or just having the dialogue, is step one.

All men cheat.

Black men who are faithful to their wives need to start wearing that like a badge of honor.

Brag to others that you are able to maintain a healthy marriage.  Share it with your friends and encourage them to do the same.

Women run the household.

Wives who have husbands that lead their home, should also be sharing that with other wives.

Discussing the benefits of trusting your husband to guide your family is encouraging for a woman who may be struggling in this area and empowering to a husband needing to be in that role.

Black marriages won’t last.

Do you know someone who has been married for 20 or more years? Ask them how they did it and run around town and tell that. Promote it.

We must continue to give each other hope.

When negative relationship talk begins in your circles, throw it out there, “did you know Mr. and Mrs. Smith have been married for over 30 years and this is how they say they keep love alive?” Watch how the conversation and energy in the room shifts.

There will always be drama.

If you happen to be one of those couples who is solution focused and drama-free, teach others with your examples.

Many couples struggle with managing conflict. If you are bold enough, lead a workshop for other couples in your area.

We don’t support one another.

Are you your spouse’s biggest supporter? Make sure others know that too. Hearing someone speak so highly of their spouse changes the way most of us look at our own spouse.

A black marriage is hard to maintain.

Marriage may be hard to maintain in general. If you’ve come across a great relationship book, know an excellent relationship coach, or found an empowering website (i.e. www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com) share it with every couple you know.

Black marriage is all gloom.

The numbers and rate of divorce can be disheartening, but take the state of our marriages to the altar. Pray with other couples and ask your Pastor and prayer warriors to add marriage to the prayer lists.

In order for us to break many of the stereotypes others have about our marriages we must be willing to promote the positive relationships we see in our communities. While our marriage rates are significantly lower than our counterparts, we do still marry.

There are also more positive images than ever before. We even celebrate Black Marriage Day, which began in 2003 and will be celebrated next year on April 3, 2016. Marriage ministries are also rapidly growing in black churches and having a tremendous impact on our families.

Although there is still quite a bit of work to do in order for us to spread positive images of black marriage, we are in a great position to start.

BMWK, what are some additional black marriage stereotypes we must break?