[tps_header]You’ve probably heard time and time again that marriage isn’t easy. As cliché as it sounds, it’s actually true. If it were easy, there would be far less divorce. People everywhere would be compelled to just stay together for life.

But hard doesn’t mean happily ever after is impossible. And when something is hard, it also doesn’t mean that it can’t bring you joy or that it isn’t worth nurturing. If you married the right person, the toughest moments don’t have to destroy what you have.

And although some marriages will fail despite best efforts, many marriages fail because best efforts aren’t put forth. Many unions fall flat because couples are not taking the time and putting in the effort to build a strong union.

Happily married couples don’t just happen. They aren’t just lucky people. Luck is a bunch of crap. People who are blessed enough to stay married for a lifetime manage to do it because they put in some serious work. They made wise choices. They fought the good fight.

Ever read a recipe that had all the makings of a winning meal? But then, you tried it out, and it just fell flat—only to discover you left out a few key ingredients. Well, I believe that is what sometimes happens when good marriages fail; they aren’t cooking with all the right ingredients.

If you believe you married the right person and you want to put in the work needed to make your marriage as close to bulletproof as possible, here are seven key ingredients you need to add.[/tps_header]

 

Communication

Effective communications skills are the cornerstone of every successful marriage. Learning to express yourself effectively is critical. And what’s more critical is the ability to truly listen to what your partner has to say. Once you make communication a priority and you put in the effort to improve your communication skills, you are on the right path.

READ: Communication: How We Went From Fussing and Fighting to Being Happily Married for 10 Years.