I will never forget how excited I was when my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I went looking at engagement rings. Suddenly everything began to feel more real and exciting. I was finally going to marry the man that I felt I was created to love. It was only a matter of time. Several months later he surprised me by proposing. I said yes and while I loved my ring I was more excited about the fact that I had a ring. For weeks after, anyone who saw me immediately (and usually excitedly) asked to see “the ring.” I always showed them but it always felt a little weird. Suddenly the focus was on the ring and whether or not we had a wedding date.
My ring wasn’t the ring of my dreams. It wasn’t one I had looked at online or circled in a catalog. But because it came from the man of my dreams it was just perfect. It had some sparkle, a special story (he picked it out all by himself), and no payments because he had made the decision to get what he could afford.
I wore my ring with pride from the day we got married until the end of my third trimester of pregnancy. Suddenly the ring that I coveted for so long, the ring that I felt naked without, the ring that symbolized our union no longer fit. As I pried it off, my fingers winching in pain, my husband reminded me that it was just a ring. While pretty and symbolic, ring or not we had made vows to one another, and a promise to God. We were married.
At almost 6 months post partum I still can’t comfortably fit my ring. I’ve debated getting it re-sized but have ultimately decided to wait as my body is still going through various changes since giving birth.
From time to time I glance at my finger, the tan line from my ring is almost gone and my hands no longer feel bare. I laugh as I reflect on a time in which I was all about “the ring.” And then I got it and once the newness of being engaged wore off, I was reminded that there is more to our relationship than the piece of jewelry intended to indicate my relationship status.
An article by Ebony states that the ring can be a “source of pride for women.” While the article looks at it from the perspective of proposal, I am curious if women are still just as excited about the ring after settling into marriage or does your focus shift. Does that ring you guarded and handled with care during your engagement no longer excite you?
I love my ring and ever so often I miss it but on the bright side I’ve got my husband and have no intentions of outgrowing him. For more the importance of engagement rings for women visit Ebony.
BMWK — Are you still all about “the ring” now that you’re married? Is wearing your ring important to you? Is it important to you that your spouse wears theirs?
I feel naked when I don’t have my ring on. I also showed mine off (not the ring of my dreams, but again, a symbol of my commitment) when I got engaged, and I hate leaving the house without it on. It’s more so what it represents: our commitment. I thought about getting another ring but I’m not worried about it. My husband couldn’t wear his at work because of the nature of his job, then he couldn’t fit his anymore. At first I would get butt hurt if he didn’t wear it, but I think it means more to wives than to husbands.
I think for many of us it is really about what our rings represent. I used to be a little sensitive if my husband forgot his 🙂 I agree — the actual ring does seem to mean more to wives than husbands. I also wonder if time plays a role in this too. The longer you are together perhaps things like whether or not you have your ring on suddenly aren’t all that important…
Never…i didnt get a dream ring but i got My dream Husband, my dream was to marry a wonderful, loving & committed man & thats what I received which is far more better than any ring..other people are more concerned with the size or beauty of the ring..they ask to see it..i dont show it off…i show him off he is the one that is always with me n by My side…so hes more valuable than My ring…im a simple, smart & beautiful person…i got the perfect ring that fits who I am…not bodacious, just simply beautiful!!!
The fact that you got your dream husband is what matters the most. Love that you show him off! 🙂 Thank you for sharing!!
Interestingly enough, I never dreamed or imagined my ring. I had really interesting views on it all. “No blood diamonds!” When my fiance proposed I didn’t even notice the ring until maybe an hour later. It was a massive proposal and friends/family were all around, I didn’t even think about it until someone asked. My “dream” ring was probably a $100 pearl ring set in white gold. What he gave me was pretty epic. LOL Diamonds galore and all sorts of extraness. I love it because it’s what was in his heart to give me. I get that. All I ever wanted was him, and I’ve always stressed that. It made me uncomfortable for people to ask me to see the ring. It’s huge and I dunno, I didn’t want them to think I was bragging. The wedding band he bought makes it even “huger” LOL but I’m at least used to it now.
It is nice that he gave you something from his heart even nicer is the fact that in the end he’s what is most important! Thanks for sharing!!