So your spouse may not be having sex with someone else, but they're spending a whole heck of a lot of time “just” talking, emailing and texting! You may ask “does that count as an affair”? Absolutely! An emotional affair, which is a close, intimate, emotional attachment is still considered an affair—an affair of the heart. And there are telling signs that an emotional affair … [Read more...]
Save My Marriage: How to Come Clean After an Affair
I’m feeling like I’m in a Star Trek episode being transported back to 2002. I remember clearly because that was the year of our engagement...but it was also the year when I cheated. In that moment of betrayal, I recall thinking all types of things, but the biggest reoccurring thought was: Should I tell him or just keep it to myself? Can I save my marriage, even though it hasn't … [Read more...]
It’s Time You Man-Up: Here’s How to Tell Your Wife About Your Affair
So you’ve cheated? Does it mean your marriage is doomed for divorce? Absolutely not! And by the way, I'm speaking from experience! Now don’t get it twisted; it does mean it’s time to “Man-Up” meaning to “toughen up” or in my Spike Lee voice…“Do the right thing!” Tell your wife about your affair. Immediately, I’m reminded of the scripture 1 Corinthians 10:12, "If you think … [Read more...]
How to Forgive Yourself After Your Affair
Dealing with the guilt, shame and self-hatred or the flooding of negative emotions and feeling of self-worthlessness after the occurrence of an extra-marital or non-marital affair is no easy feat. I’m speaking from experience, and this cycle of self-shaming could be as hindering on the marriage/relationship as the affair itself. How to Forgive Yourself After Your … [Read more...]
What is Communication in Marriage? 5 Scriptures That Teach You to Watch Your Mouth!
Working as a Certified Christian Life & Marriage Coach definitely blesses me in being able to offer my clients the best of both worlds. I have been able to apply effective coaching strategies, tools, and resources while being guided by the Holy Spirit and applying the greatest resource of all…the Word of God. For the sake of not alienating anyone, some of the lessons below … [Read more...]
10 Liberating Quotes from President Barack Obama that Will Go Down in Black History
As the end of Black History Month draws near, we thought it fitting to showcase 10 liberating quotes from President Barack Obama. We will remember these quotes throughout history and use them to inspire generations to come. 10 Liberating Quotes from President Barack Obama that Will Go Down in Black History In this article: Quotes from the beginning of his journey as … [Read more...]
Spouse Cheated? 30 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Calling It Quits
After infidelity in our relationship and prior to making a decision to call it quits, I thought long and hard about what to do. Notice I did not say the “D” word! If you are like me, you have learned over the years the seeds you plant and nurture will take root and grow. Therefore, I have made it my business to intentionally not allow myself to even … [Read more...]
The Cheater’s Guide to a Lifetime of Faithfulness
If you were raised in a similar environment to me, I bet you know this two sayings, “What is done in the dark will always come to light.” Sound familiar? It's all too familiar to me as God worked it out alright. Now, I know the headline, "A Cheater's Guide to a Lifetime of Faithfulness," might throw you off. But another saying, “God works in mysterious ways,” might help you … [Read more...]
5 Lies You Tell Yourself When You Decide to Cheat
Lies...lies...lies! Your marriage heads for rough waters when you make a decision to go outside of your relationship with your spouse to get a certain need met. You make excuses that seem plausible because you are convinced that need can't be met within your marriage. But, while it's different strokes for different folks, there are five lies you tell yourself when you decide to … [Read more...]
Church Can’t Save Your Marriage, but These 3 Things Could Help
These days it seems the institution of matrimony is the most forgotten among many Christian churches. Sure there are churches that nurture marriages but many are neglecting to nurture marriages more intently. This goes hand in hand with our divorce rate of 40-50%. Right now, the institution of marriage is vulnerable to being downright demolished by a bulldozing secular … [Read more...]
How to Stop Insecurity From Ruining Your Marriage
Marriage should make both spouses feel secure, respected, and most of all loved unconditionally. When insecurity is present in a marriage these ideals are non-existent. So what exactly is insecurity? What does insecurity look like in marriage? Often times, insecurity shows up in the form of jealousy and/or controlling behavior. Insecurity is that feeling of inadequacy, … [Read more...]
Divorce Digital Distractions: 5 Signs You’re Married to Your Cell Phone
Are you married to your cellphone? Confession Time! Guess who interrupted “Date Night” to post on Facebook? Now, don’t get me wrong. The underlying goal was to promote Date Nights and Black Love along with the fact that my husband was looking mighty fine. However, one thing led to another (like an affair) but this time, it was in an affair with my cell phone. I started with a … [Read more...]
7 Simple Trust Building Exercises for Your Marriage
If you’re anything like me, growing up, you heard “trust is easy to lose and hard to regain.” Have you found this to be true? It can be challenging for some spouses to place all their faith into their spouse. Sometimes, a lack of trust is a result of not so favorable life experiences even without any major hurtful betrayals occurring. However, if you add a betrayal to … [Read more...]
Affair Repair- 4 Reasons to L.O.V.E. Valentine’s Day!
We are approaching “that” holiday, yeah you know the one: Valentine’s Day! The main day devoted to ALL things romance! No matter where you are in your affair repair, Valentine’s Day is not to be ignored. Societal conditioning tells us that acts of love have to be grand gestures. However, I’d like to lovingly challenge you to rethink Valentine’s Day in respect to … [Read more...]
Here’s the One Thing You Must Do If Your Spouse Is Cheating
Have you reached a point in your marriage where you suspect something shady's going on but you're not sure? Now, you simply have to know what’s really going on? Like I always say, “You cannot conquer that which you will not confront.” So, in this article that is part of chapter four (Confront & Conquer) in my book entitled Love After Adultery: The Breakthrough Journey of … [Read more...]