At the start of every new year, many of us decide we’re going to: lose weight, start a business, write a book, quit a bad habit, improve our relationships, etc. The resolutions are endless. And we have the best of intentions. So why, then, is it that only 8% of us actually achieve our New Year’s resolutions every year? In fact, by January 15th, it’s pretty clear who’s going … [Read more...]
The Letter to My 10-Year-Old Daughter that Changed Our Relationship
A few months ago, I was at my wits’ end with my daughter who just happens to be a smidgen more stubborn than I am. We butt heads often because we’re so much alike. But I also understand that it has a great deal to do with the environment that our children are growing up in, which is so much different then the one many of us were raised in by our own parents. Disrespect? What … [Read more...]
4 Bad Behaviors that are Seriously Damaging Your Relationship
If you're human, it's very easy to take for granted the most important people in your life. We've all been guilty of it at one time or another. And we can usually make up for it, if we do. However, if you're starting to see cracks in the foundation of your relationship, you should consider whether you're engaging in any of these destructive behaviors: [imagebrowser id=413] … [Read more...]
What Loretta Lynch and Simone Byles Have in Common Shouldn’t Surprise You
Women have never received equal representation in our history book, never mind in the present. Yet, their contributions have been invaluable in building nations, creating institutions, inventing life-changing solutions, and raising leaders. This month, in honor of Women’s History Month, we highlight five women who are making history today: On February 26, 2015, Loretta … [Read more...]
How Going Natural After My Divorce Transformed My Life
I haven’t had a relaxer in my hair for almost 15 years. Before that, I was just as addicted to the “creamy crack” as the next Black woman. As soon as I felt that new growth coming in, I calculated the days until my next treatment. Never mind that that stuff burned the mess out of my scalp and often left scabs that took days to heal. After all was said and done, I couldn’t … [Read more...]
Five Powerful Women of the Civil Rights Movement You Should Know, but Probably Don’t
Although I understand the idea behind Black History Month, I’m not a huge proponent of relegating our history to only one month of the year. We need to celebrate our heroes and sheroes year-round; however, since it is Black History Month, this is a great opportunity to go beyond the usual narrative of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Rosa Parks to highlight some of the little-known … [Read more...]
4 Reasons I took a 3-Year Break from Dating
If you’ve grown up as a female in this world, then you’ve likely been taught that to be truly happy, you need your Prince Charming to make you complete. You go to family gatherings and all your Aunties are giving you looks of sympathy and/or questioning. They’re probably thinking, “She’s such a smart, pretty girl—why is she still single? She better stop being so picky and … [Read more...]
The 4 Most Valuable Lessons on Happiness I Learned from My 10-Year-Old
When I think about the things that made me happy as a child, it was usually simple stuff like the ice cream truck, playing jump rope with my friends or drinking Kool-Aid. Have you noticed how it seems to take so much more to make you happy the older you get? I’ve had to really ask myself why that was as I went through some changes in my life that caused me to re-think my … [Read more...]
3 Critical Relationship Mistakes to Avoid in the New Year
Most people get excited about the New Year because it’s a chance to start fresh and do better. It’s the time to think about the changes you need to make in your relationships for you to accomplish your goals in the coming year. Personally, I know there are certain mistakes I have made in my past that have slowed me down in reaching my goals. Here are three to avoid if you’re … [Read more...]
Why are We Desperate for Lighter Skin?
I don’t normally write about this topic because I feel there’s already been so much said about it that I don’t need to add to the noise, but after watching this video, I just had to say something. A friend of mine posted a clip of a Cameroonian recording artist named Irene Major being interviewed recently by two talk show hosts in London. The topic of the interview was Major’s … [Read more...]
4 Reasons to Be Thankful for Being Single
The holiday season can be tough for those of us who are still single and don't have a special someone to share it with. There you are, surrounded by friends and family who are all happily married or well on their way to the altar. I've learned that despite how it may sometimes feel, being single during the holidays doesn't have to be a lonely time. In fact, it can be an … [Read more...]
3 Things Women Should Never Do to Their Men in Public
With more women becoming successful on their own terms, it’s easy to get caught up in the definition of Ne-Yo’s “Independent Woman” and forget how to be in a healthy relationship with a man. I grew up not really understanding the male ego or how to deal with it. Relationships were just not something we talked about in my home, so I had to make it up as I went. The problem … [Read more...]
There’s a Reason He’s Your Ex
We've all done it: ran into an ex we haven't seen for a minute and got so caught up in how good they looked that we developed amnesia about our past with that person. If we're still waiting on Mr. Right, we start wondering if we did the right thing by letting this one go. Maybe we just overreacted and read too much into past situations. Maybe we were being too picky. And maybe, … [Read more...]
The One Thing I Wish I Had Done Before I Got Married
I’ve heard it said that most people prepare more for their wedding than they do for their marriage. In my case, I’d have to say it was true. Weddings are usually exciting, fun-filled events that get everyone caught up—so much so that, often, we don’t take a minute to stop and think about what happens after the honeymoon. I got married at 23. I had just finished college the … [Read more...]
How to Heal from the Pain of Divorce and Learn to Love Again
2005 was the most painful year of my life. My daughter had just turned one when I found out that my husband—who I had been separated from for four months, with a faint hope of reconciliation—was about to have a baby by another woman. Words can't express how devastated I was at his admission of an affair during our marriage. I felt like I had fallen into a black hole and wasn't … [Read more...]