In order for your marriage to stand the test of time, you have to be able to communicate your needs, frustrations, desires, and so much more. Without communication, your marriage inevitably suffers.
Effective communication is the cornerstone of a happy marriage.
But what some people fail to realize is that it’s not just a matter of communicating. Even if you talk to your spouse daily about 101 things, your marriage is still in trouble if you both avoid talking about the really important stuff, the stuff that makes most folks uncomfortable.
Now, I’m not suggesting you talk to your spouse about the tough stuff daily. That’s just exhausting. But I am saying that avoiding that stuff for too long can lead to trouble. For a marriage to be successful, you and your spouse have to be able to discuss and debate the things that matter most. If you don’t, your marriage will surely begin to suffer as a result frustration and resentment.
So while you are working on improving your communication skills with your spouse, you should also give some thought to whether or not you are having these important conversations…
If there is one thing people hate talking about, it’s money. Sadly, though, this happens a lot in marriages. Many couples have their own personal financial belief system, and that can sometimes lead to financial secrets. No good can come from avoiding these conversations with your spouse. As difficult as it may be, talk to your mate about money. Share your concerns and your hopes. Even with differences in opinion, you have to be able to discuss money and reach a common ground if you want to avoid turmoil down the road.
Whether you are in a sexless marriage, or one where sex happens pretty regularly, chances are you don’t talk about sex as much as you should. Intimacy is a huge part of a marriage and you should be able to discuss it candidly. Talk about your desires and your fantasies. Let your partner what you like and what you don’t like. If these conversations happen frequently, it has the potential to help you grow closer to your spouse and improve your sex lives.
So many people have a laundry list of complaints about their in-laws, but the necessary conversations with their spouses are not taking place. When problems occur with your in-laws, avoiding the topic rarely resolves a thing. However uncomfortable it may be, you have to be able to talk to your spouse about what’s going on so you can land on the same page and manage family conflicts as a united front.
Are you holding on to a life-long dream that you haven’t shared with your spouse or you feel like it’s too late to pursue? Don’t do it. Talk to your mate about your dream. Ask for his support. Pray together about it. Discuss whether or not you can pursue it now. Very few things cause as much resentment in a marriage as letting go of a dream and always wondering, “what if.”
You are both concerned about your day-to-day expenses and saving for the kids to go to college, but barely talk about what you really want your own lives to look like once the kids are all grown up. Sit down with your spouse and have an honest heart-to-heart about what you want your lives to look like in 10, 20, or 30 years.
BMWK family, what conversations are you avoiding with your spouse?