Before getting married, the best description of marriage I had ever heard was from a woman with 30 years of matrimony under her belt. She simply stated, “Marriage is a sum total of some guaranteed bad years and some guaranteed good ones.”
There’s simplicity in knowing that the bad days may turn into bad weeks, which may turn into dark months and even dark years.
But even the dark years pass.
And the peaks can’t be as high without the lows to propel you there.
Such is the cycle of marriage. And the shared experience of your specific marriage to your spouse – the one in 7 billion who’s life destiny is innately tied to yours – is your partner in the experience of your life.
But the one simple reason through this epic life journey you still can’t get along with your spouse is you haven’t learned how to truly partner with anyone.
Partnerships are formed when two entities openly acknowledge that the shared purpose of their sum is more powerful than their individual efforts. This is accomplished when both entities agree and acknowledge what their shared goal and purpose actually is. This place is beyond the ego. Many of us haven’t figured out how to climb out from under the shadow of our egos.
But you can’t partner up behind an unstated goal. There’s no shared purpose for anyone.
Where is your partnership heading? And what’s your role in the partnership?
What’s the goal?
Acceptance? Peace? Safety? Security? A chance to shine? Service to others? Endless nights of Netflix can’t be the end all be all – or can it?
Without the acknowledgment of what your shared purpose is, we’re all doomed to only see as far as ourselves. And selfishness is the poison of all partnerships.
Keeping our eyes on the long term goals of our marriage makes one more grateful for the day to day tasks necessary to take a partnership to the next level. Gratefulness is the soil from which all great things take root – including partnerships.
BMWK, what’s keeping you from being a true partner to your spouse?