On this week’s episode of It’s Not You, It’s Men, Rev Run and Tyrese tackled the topic: Lost in Translation- How men and women communicate differently. Evelyn Lozada and Vin Disel joined the conversation as they discussed ways to foster better communication in relationships.
It is a known fact that men and women communicate differently, which often leads to challenges within relationships. In order to avoid the communication gap, here are a few ways to communicate with your partner and not get lost in translation.
Clarify the need
When a woman shares a story it’s her way of venting about a problem. She doesn’t necessarily want the situation solved. When a man hears a woman’s story, he automatically offers a solution. A man is a fixer by nature and his desire is to fix the problem. The best way to avoid conflict is to clarify the desired outcome. Ask the story teller do they want a listening ear or a solution, based on the answer, the listener can provide the needed response.
Ask for the meaning
Women are guilty of asking a question or making a statement which has an alternate meaning than what’s implied. In order to avoid confusion, ask questions regarding the true meaning of the statement.
For instance, when a woman ask a man how does she look in a particular item, she doesn’t want his honest opinion. She just wants reassurance. Rev Run shared a perfect example. If you don’t like the way she looks in the dress, say something to the effect: “You look good in that red dress but in the green dress you looked gorgeous.” Tell the truth in love by giving her the encouragement she needs.
Men: I see you but I don’t want to hear you.
Women: I see you and I hear you
We live in a multitasking age, where a million things are vying for our attention. By being preoccupied and not fully listening, we open the door for a misunderstanding to take place. When your partner is speaking, take the time to be present in the moment and listen to what they are saying. Sometimes that is all they need from you.
Discuss preferred communication methods
An article in the Huffington Post stated that texting is ruining communication in relationships. In order to avoid this potential communication trap, discuss with your partner preferred methods of communication.
It is very easy for a text to be misinterpreted and the intention to be misunderstood. Texting puts you at a disadvantage because you can’t hear their voice inflection, see their facial expression and at times are unsure of the real meaning behind the emoji in the text. Texting is great but take time to have a conversation and talk to each other.
Establish social media boundaries
Social media is contributing to the decay of relationships. Be sure to establish boundaries around social media and your online activity regarding your relationship. Don’t invite your followers into your relationship. Choose to keep your relationship private.
Use appropriate conflict resolution
When you have a problem within your relationship don’t bring in outside influences. Discuss the problems of your relationship with the person that you are in the relationships with.
Transparency: Be honest. Make sure your actions and words are in sync.
Everyone has baggage. And God will send you someone who is willing to help you unpack your bags. However you have to be honest with yourself and your partner regarding your issues. When you don’t deal with your issues they cause problems in the relationship; especially in the area of communication.
Relationships have the potential to bring out the best and worst in people. Communication is the foundational component which breaks or makes a relationship. The best way to succeed in this area is by discussing your communication style and needs.
Be willing to say I don’t understand, ask for clarity and take time to really listen to your partner. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. By working on understanding each other’s communication style, you are building the foundation for a healthy relationship.
BMWK how do you communicate?